The Audition (dreamnotfound)

why not me

A/N sorry for the slow updates because of school and stuff but I will try and post chapters at least once a month:) enjoy!! also I have a cold right now so like sorry for the delay:( also sorry in advance for the heavy dialogue

   Not only did George and Dream have their deja vu moments and their, to say the least, complicated relationship, but Karl and Sapnap had a few secrets of their own. Little did anyone know, while a storm was brewing between the lead singer and guitarist, the drummer and the bassist had some sparks of their own.

   A little over a month ago, Sapnap finally confessed his feelings that had been hidden in the depths of his soul to Karl, which received a hug tighter than anything he had ever felt before in response. Since then, the dynamic duo had been closer than ever, going on dates and just being... them.

   Seeing as they were so happy, they feared that letting George in on their secret would just destroy his heart a little more, seeing as everyone was happy besides him. Yet, knowing this and keeping this ginormous secret from their best friend for a month began to seem too much.

   It was time to finally tell him, face to face. 

   The brunette arrived at Karl's house within minutes of the call that was an "urgent situation", as Sapnap said. He swiftly parked his ruby red car and jogged up to the door, knocking multiple times because of the anxiety spike he was having. Was Karl okay? Why was it such an emergency?

   The door blew wide open as quickly as he had gotten there, Sapnap panting from the speed he must have ran down the carpeted stairs placed in the corner of the house. 

   "Where is he? Is he okay? What happened-" George began walking through the door, scanning the house for one of his best friends, before getting interrupted by a familiar voice.

   "I'm right here, George, it's okay. I'm completely okay," Karl smiled fondly, sitting on the black, leather couch that stood to the right of the brunette.

   "Oh, thank god. Wait... If you are okay, then what was the urgent call about?" George spun around to face Sapnap, who was still seemingly catching his breath.

   "You should probably sit down for this," Sapnap said, almost cautiously, before heading towards the sofa to sit next to Karl. 

   This felt strange, to say the least. The group of them had probably had a serious conversation maybe three times in their life, seeing as the three of them could never stop wheezing and smiling when they were together. Nonetheless, George moved slowly towards the burgundy rocking chair that swayed in the opposite corner of the room from the couch. He sat down, not anticipating the rant that Sapnap was about to go on.

   "Karl and I are dating. We have been for about a month and we are sorry for not telling you, but we were worried that you would get sad or something because of, like, you and dream or whatever. I feel horrible and we should have told you a long time ago but we were too afraid to and-," 

   "Woah, slow down," George interrupted, trying to process what the hell just came out of his mouth.

   "You two are... together? Like, actually dating?" 

   "Yeah... Is that okay?" Karl asked quietly and slowly, both of the boys sitting in front of the brunette leaning off of their chairs in anticipation for their best friend's response. 

   "Of course that's okay! I'm so fucking happy for you guys! Why would I compare Dream and I to you two anyways?" George asked, but regretting it shortly after, seeing as he didn't really want an answer to his own question. Yet, nonetheless...

   He got one. 

   "Maybe because Karl and I are a fresh and happy couple, but you and Dream could never be as tight as you were before the record deal," Sapnap spat out, without realizing the impact those few sentences would have on his best friend, before Karl slapped a hand over his boyfriend's mouth.

   "Sapnap!" Karl gasped, making a sympathetic look towards George, who's eyes widened at the answer that was, honestly, probably correct.

   "Oh."

   "He didn't mean that, I swear. He was just blurting out whatever came to his mind. He always does that, and while I still really, really like him, that was NOT okay to say," Karl quickly barged in, making an are-you-stupid face towards Sapnap. 

   "It's okay. I should probably go now, though. Uh, congrats you two and I'm happy for you guys!" George plastered a fake smile on his face while he stood up, reaching for the door.

   "George, wait-," Sapnap tried to grab his hand, but the brunette was already too far ahead. The couple then looked at each other's eyes, desperately trying to come up with some sort of solution to the mess they had just made.

   Yet, while the two boys panicked, all George could do was open his car door, and drive. Drive to wherever was away from this place. As much as he begged for Sap not to be right, deep down he knew that he was, in fact, correct.

   Of course he was happy for them; they were his best friends, after all. Yet, it did still make him think the same thought he had been thinking all of his life.

   Why not me?

   It saddened him and broke his heart a little more knowing that he could never have the perfect relationship with the man he wanted the most. He could potentially find a new soulmate and a new partner, but a little piece of his soul belonged to Dream and him only, and that hurt. 

   As George drove down the highway towards who knows where, tears began to blur his vision as horrendous thoughts began to cloud his mind.

   Everyone can be happy but me.

   Is this what life has in store for me? Disappointment and heart break?

   Why can't I be the perfect guy?

   Why not me?

   Why not me?

   Why not me?

   Darkness.

(1024 words)

A/N sorry if this chapter is kinda bad I couldn't be bothered to proof read it BUTTT I went back to my roots and wrote heavy angst<3 will George make it out alive? who knows but thanks for 2k reads:] I love you all so fucking much<3 PLEASE take care of yourselves because you are enough and worth the world:]