✔︎ unrequited flowers | nishimura riki

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Because at the same time, Ayano watches Ni-Ki fall for Sunoo. The way Ni-Ki looks at him like he's the air that he breathes. Ni-Ki carved a place out for himself in Ayano's heart, and then gave his own to Sunoo, and with every passing day, every reminder of what she'll never have, Ayano feels the pain in her chest worsen.

She started avoiding Ni-Ki even more, the distance only alleviating her pain the smallest amount, because she could never explain to Ni-Ki why being around her makes the girl feel like the floor's fallen out from under her, water washing over her as she sinks lower and lower.

She desperately tries to have a normal friendship with him like previously, but as the days pass by, the rest of October coming and going, being around Ni-Ki only makes the ache spread. So she stays away from his house, moving into a new apartment nearer to Sunghoon's place as her dad let her. It was the least he could do for her daughter after not giving her enough care.

Ayano ignored the other's confused calls and texts. She loses count of how many times Sunghoon has seen her breakdown. Days into November, Ayano was on her way to Ni-Ki's house. It was just purely out of hanging out again with the three of them. She was planning to go straight to Sunghoon's house after picking up the remaining of her items at Ni-Ki's house.

When she walks in the room, the girl feels a lump in her throat as she sees that Sunoo was on the bed and Ni-Ki is next to him, hands holding on to each other as the hugged each other. Ayano feels like he's going to be sick, not from jealousy but from throwing up more flower petals.

Ni-Ki pulls back when he hears the door open, getting up from the bed and walking over to Ayano with a smile on his face. "I missed you bestie. We surely are busy these days right ?" Sunhee smiled awkwardly and went to sit next to Sunoo."Yup ! Hahaha..." She sees a vase on the side table with a large bouquet in it. The girl recognizes the white chrysanthemums, the December birth flower. They look beautiful. Sunoo notices her eyes linger on the flowers.

"Oh! I got those for Ni-Ki. I just picked it up along the way !" He explains, Sunoo getting up off the couch and joining them when he hears his name.

"How are you feeling these days, Sunoo ?" Ayano says with a quite worried tone. She was the only one who knew his secret. "I'm doing good ! I'll text you later." Sunoo whispered the last sentence as Ni-Ki came back with drinks in his hands."Also, I asked him to be my boyfriend today." Ni-Ki places down the cups and his hand reaches for Sunoo's, their fingers intertwining instinctually. They both smile, sweet and utterly in love.

The pang of pain that goes through Ayano's chest nearly makes him double over.

"I'm so happy for you!" Ayano didn't hear herself talk, ears were ringing loudly. "I'm sorry. I know I just arrived but actually I have plans with Sunghoon. Besides, you two should enjoy the night for yourselves." Ayano smiles but her eyes show sadness. "Aww... are you leaving that fast ?" "Yeah, I am going to be working soon after this ! I found a decent part-time job but that's another story for another day."

Ni-Ki looked at the girl worried, but trusted her words. There should be no reason for her to lie to him right ? Sunoo nodded before smiling at Ayano. Sunoo really appreciated Ayano as she knew his condition. Sad for Ni-Ki, both of them might die too soon. They bid goodbyes after Sunghoon called Sunhee to come out as he arrived with his car. The girl finally let out tears as she hopped into the car, Sunghoon immediately drove them a little bit further from there before pulling over to the side.

As a familiar song starts to play on the radio, she lets herself go, hugging Sunghoon as she pours her tears out. The song picks up, her breathing growing heavy, and she waits for the storm in her head to recede as it always does, but that never comes. Her thoughts only twisted further as Sunghoon patted her back, even he shedded a few tears as well. All Ayano can think about is Ni-Ki, the boy she loves.

Memories flood the girl's mind every moment, every touch, every feeling. She can't escape the onslaught of emotion, her head becoming dizzy and stomach lurching dangerously. Come to think of it, she really hasn't eaten normally. Ayano wanted to go back to how things first were. Even if Sunoo had fallen in love with Ni-Ki, she would continue and maybe date Sunghoon by now. But a chance for that to happen, is impossible.

Sunoo wants to stay with Ni-Ki forever until they grow old as they are only 19 now. 2 more months from graduating.

But he can't.

He's going to leave Ni-Ki heartbroken.

There will be no more hugs and kisses, giving flowers and going out on dates.

Sunoo could only stay in the hospital next year.

He doesn't have much time left.

Because cancer was eating him alive, same with Ayano's hanahaki.

And that, was their secret. Their deaths will be someone else's pain soon. 

And we all know who those people are.

Was it a mistake to replublish this ?...
I'm sorry for the bad mindset but I'm just... not really feeling my best today. Sorry for spreading it.