✔︎ unrequited flowers | nishimura riki

XII

It was July as flowers started blooming even more. Ayano ended up moving in with Sunghoon without her father knowing. Ayano checks her entire body for new sprouts. There used to be less but now more are blooming each time it is the flower or spring season. It became an official routine. She ran her fingers over her forehead, cheeks, chin, and neck.

The freckles on her face were more visible but if it wasn't for Sunghoon cheering her up by saying it's his favourite thing to stare at. The girl looks at her chest, arms, legs and private parts. Ms Kohana used to say those are unlikely spots for the disease but so is the inside of your mouth.

Ayano thought she was lucky about that fact.

The plants grow faster now, and they tend to regrow in the same spots. The one in the girl's cheek is the most painful to uproot, and the one that takes the longest to heal, so she stops plucking it out, and keeps trimming it every so often, which is also painful. Ayano always covers her mouth when she laughs and sometimes just wears a mask. So hiding it is an easy task to manage.

Based on Sunghoon's observation, the ones in the mouth and face heal the fastest if you get affection every now and then even if it was not someone you love. The long sleeves she has to wear because of the one spot on her arm gave looks and comments by people passing by as the days got warmer, but it's not the end of the world.

Ayano's disease wouldn't heal, she knew. The flowers would slowly wither away along with her love, someday. Right now, Ayano was going to meet people who meant dear to her and maybe wish some goodbyes, even telling the truth about her weird acts. Heeseung was the first to come to her mind. Ever since the male had left her with Sunghoon, he has gotten busy but still worried about her.

Ayano got a reply text from Heeseung in the middle of the day for a small talk in a cafe as Heeseung was free for lunch time. "You could've told me the truth," Heeseung says after Ayano tells him about the flowers coming out of her body and condition getting worse. His tone is soft, it's not an accusation. Heeseung was smiling, and he seemed relieved to know that it wasn't anything he had done, and to know that Ayano was in good hands.

"I'm really sorry for not telling you earlier. I just had a feeling... maybe am I going soon ?" Ayano lowered her head, her tone serious so Heeseung knew her apology was genuine. "I had guessed from the start that you were never going to take the risk of forgetting Ni-Ki."

Some of the weight leaves Ayano's shoulders when she hears Heeseungs's laugh, brief and sweet. She looks up in time to catch his smile. "It's ok Ayano, I was just worried about you." Ayano still felt bad and an uneasy feeling was stuck on her chest."I'm sorry," The girl repeats, and she bows briefly. 

The strawberry cake sits in front of her with a strawberry on top. Everything reminds the girl of him, Ni-Ki, and the pastel pink hair he had dyed recently. Ayano pokes the strawberry with the small fork until it's pushed off the cake, to rest on the plate, hidden behind a wall of cake, so she wouldn't have to think about him. "Does he know yet ?" Heeseungs's tone is more serious now, and he lowers his eyes to his iced americano. 

He connects the drops of water on the outside of the cup with the tip of his fingers. "No. I think he never will." Ayano said, almost whispering. "I don't know if I'm gonna tell him." She could have lied and said yes, and that Ni-Ki didn't feel the same way. The thought doesn't spark out of dishonesty, Ayano is just growing tired of being miserable. "You've got nothing to lose, Ayano."

And the girl thinks, bitterly, I've got nothing else to lose. And perhaps that's worse.

.

The girl went back home, finally feeling a little better after spending time with Heeseung, maybe for the last time. Who knows ?... Heeseung shed a few tears after sending Ayano back, hugging her tightly and leaving a few comforting words to assure that she will be alright. The phone rang as she was cooking some kimchi stew in the kitchen for dinner.

It was Sunoo. There were also multiple texts from the boy that she didn't notice. Ayano picked up the call. "Hello ?"

Sunoo's words were like a loud ring in Ayano's ears.

"What ?..."

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