✔︎ unrequited flowers | nishimura riki

XV

A few days pass by, Ni-Ki texts Sunghoon almost daily with anxiety saturated questions, basically begging for the male to tell him anything about Ayano, about what's happening. He's lucky to get any replies, and if he does, they're vague, telling him thatAyano was okay, but the information stops there.

Sunoo is the only thing that keeps him level headed. His boyfriend is reliable and a pillar of comfort when he needs it and his refuge when yet another one of his texts goes ignored. He leans on Sunoo until the other bears his full weight, keeping him afloat when he threatens to drown in his own fearful thoughts.

Nearing the middle of November, Ni-Ki still hasn't heard anything from his friends nor Sunghoon, and still hasn't seen Ayano after their last meeting which was at least two months ago.. He's sitting on the couch, the sky long darkened outside, struggling through a college assignment when Sunoo gets home from working on a project for one of his classes, setting his things down.

"Hi baby." Ni-Ki greets him. "Hey, have you eaten?" Sunoo asks as he sits down on the couch next to his lover. "No, I've just been trying to get this done." "Didn't you say that was due yesterday?" Sunoo peers over his shoulder. "Yeah, but it's okay, I'll get it done soon." Ni-Ki shrugs. "Okay.. so do you want to get some dinner?"

"I'm not really hungry." Ni-Ki keeps his eyes on his laptop, though the words had long since blurred together. "Ki, please, look at me." Ni-Ki takes his eyes off the screen, guilt filling him when he's met with Sunoo's tired eyes. Even his lover was acting strange nowadays. "Baby, I'm worried about you." Sunoo whispers. "You don't need to be.." Ni-Ki said, now realising he had not really talked with Sunoo these few days.

"Yes, I do." Sunoo's voice grows firm. "You barely eat, you're falling behind in classes, you spend all your time worrying, you don't take care of yourself, and you won't talk to me these days-" "She's my best friend and I have no idea what's happening with him Sunoo, what else am I supposed to do?" Ni-Ki brow furrows.

Sunoo sighs as he hugs his knees. "I've been to her house already. She's doing just fine, Ni-Ki. Just busy with a few things." Sunoo coughed a little bit, feeling his throat closed up. Sunoo had been hiding the fact that he had lost weight and how he was always sick. Ni-Ki had always asked him about that previously but the answer he got was the same as always.

"It's winter soon and you know how sensitive I am to the cold weather."

"I assure you, Ni-Ki. She doesn't hate you. Ayano... just needs time to think of what she wants to do since sh doesn't go to college right ? Give her some time." Sunoo's voice is soothing, contrasting Ni-Ki's agitated tone. Ni-Ki's all too aware that he doesn't deserve Sunoo, his unending understanding and patience.

"I don't know what to do Ddeonu, I'm so worried about her. I wish I could just talk to her." He feels tears pool in his eyes. He had tried going to Ayano's old appartement but the house was already rented out. Sunoo wouldn't want Ni-Ki to find out what's going on with both Ayano and himself so that's why they work together. Sunoo had already figured out who was giving Ayano's flowers.

The boy knew it was Ni-Ki. Ayano just didn't tell him because he respects her decision and was glad that the girl didn't fight for his lover. But then again, not once had Sunoo slept well with this thought in his head. He felt guilty but both Ayano and him couldn't be saved at this point. He was grateful Ayano let him live his last moments happily.

"Hey, it's okay." Sunoo puts his hands on Ni-Ki's face, soft and gentle as he wipes away his now falling tears. "She's just going through something but just know she isn't alone. Ayano is with Sunghoon, Ki. He's going to take care of her very well."

"Even so.... she's never just stopped talking to me like this before. I don't know if I did something wrong." Ni-Ki can't remember a single time in their years of friendship that Ayano didn't feel comfortable coming to him with her problems. "I know baby, but like you said, she's your best friend. She'll talk to you when she's ready." Ni-Ki has to believe her a little longer.

The boy nods, and Sunoo pulls him in for a hug. Ni-Ki holds onto him, burying his face in his neck. He smells familiar, safe, and he can feel himself calm with every breath. "Thank you." He mumbles against his skin, and Sunoo tightens his hold on him in reply. "So, dinner?" Ni-Ki says when he pulls back, and he can't think of anything more healing than Sunoo's resulting laugh.

Ni-Ki does feel better after his talk with Sunoo, making an effort to be more open and accepting of help from the latter. He still tries to get in touch with Sunghoon, but steps back somewhat to give Ayano some space. In the meantime, he's somewhat successful at keeping his concern from running rampant again.

Ayano's birthday was coming up.

He's not sure what he's expecting when Ayano's birthday comes, maybe subconsciously assuming that things would magically return to normal because they always spend it together. Regardless of the past month, he's still surprised when there's not some sort of lift on the radio silence from Sunghoon and Ayano. On the morning of Ayano's birthday, Ni-Ki can't help but feel hopeful when he sends a text to him.

\ Hey Ayano! Happy birthday!! I hope you're doing okay. \

Ni-Ki feels jittery as he sits through his classes, checking his phone every 5 minutes. He's craving any response from Ayano, especially today, and disappointment settles in his heart when he gets home with no reply.

\ I'm always here if you need anything. \

\ I miss you. \

i plan to finish this up before updating the others >< there's already an ending so... be prepared..