letters never sent

letters never sent -005

to the person who's wandering around in my library of letters,

i apologize if i do not have poetic words for you today, all i have is apathy, anger, and sadness, i hope that's okay with you. i am writing this letter to you in the middle of the night, shaking and trying to hold back my tears as i write this formal, written cry for help. lately, it feels like i am walking slowly towards the edge of a cliff with nothingness inside my mind, eyes are dull as if my pupils has already lost its colors just like how my life has already lost its purpose to live, and how i already lost the will to survive another day. all my life i have been living in what ifs and what could have been, stucked in a cycle where i always hope that tomorrow i will wake up feeling okay. i prayed to God and begged him to make everything alright, or at least, bearable, but i ended up praying over and over. i have lost all my hope, and just gave up, but as i fill my library of letters everyday, i can feel my heart pounding. the flickering light inside of me that had once died, is somehow glowing again.

these stack of digital letters are the only things i live for, it makes me feel that i am not alone. and for you, my reader, you are worth it, you are lovely even with your flaws, and you deserve to be happy. i am feeling lost, and i know you are, too. i am writing this letter to express my sadness, and to also tell you that it's okay to be lost, i have realized that it's part of life. i will virtually roll my letters, put it inside a bottle, and throw it into the ocean. may these letters find its way to your shattered hearts.

sincerely,
seah.