Beam is very tired. He returned from the hospital after a long shift and complicated surgery and the empty apartment that welcomed him home saddened him.
Forth was never there when he came home lately. He returned when Beam was asleep and left without waking Beam before dawn.
Forth made breakfast for Beam and Beam made dinner for Beam, but they never actually met and it was already the fifth day.
The news about Forth and Geny had been dealt with by Grant and Sam, as usual. Forth is no longer active as an artist, but he still writes new songs for singers or bands managed by the GJ enterprise. Sam is now a director and it seems that his relationship with Grant is getting closer.
Beam stared at the chicken soup he made. The soup was still hot and smelling good, but he had lost his appetite.
Beam finally put the soup into the refrigerator and walked into the living room. He wanted to meet Forth. He missed his husband very much.
Beam sat on the sofa and turned on the television. He chose a detective film on one of the television channels, but he couldn't follow the story at all. His thoughts were all over the place.
Forth and Geny, why they were always together lately and why Forth never said anything at all. When Beam sent a message asking about the news that Phana found on an online news portal, Forth just said that Beam didn't need to worry because it had all been handled by Grant and Sam.
Beam stretched his legs on the sofa. He thought that he might have been neglecting Forth a lot lately with his work schedule getting longer and surgery schedule getting busier. He also often forgot or missed completely, did not inform Forth and without realizing it had been several days Forth had also not asked what time Beam would arrive home.
Tears rolled down Beam's cheeks. He felt like an idiot. Of course Forth stayed away, because Beam also gave him some distance without realizing it. Beam lifted his legs folded across his chest and put his head on his knees then started crying.
Forth will probably leave because he thinks that Beam is too busy with his career. Beam's chest filled with guilt.
Beam remembered, Forth actually carried out his intention to retire before they got married. He quit his world as an active musician and until now only occasionally composes songs to be performed by singers and bands do GJ Enterprise.
Forth is back active in the electronics company he built with Park, Lam, Max, and Tul. Occasionally he also helps his three older brothers in managing the company under the Jamorhnoom banner.
However, Forth managed his schedule well. He always found time to eat with Beam at least once a day, apart from the breakfast they always had together. Forth also always tries to get home on time, before nine o'clock in the evening and doesn't work on Saturdays and Sundays. Forth always gives more of his time to Beam.
Beam cried even harder. He really didn't know himself. He forgets himself, pursuing his career as the best heart surgeon, but forgets about his husband. The person who should be the most important and the main priority. He had forgotten his own vows when he stood before the altar four years ago.
"I, Beam Baramee Vongviphan, today, before God, Father Luke Attaphan, and all present in this room, take my oath to you, Forth Jaturapoom Jamorhnoom. I love you with my life and death. I will take you as my role model, I will following every step and decision you take, I will always be the source of your laughter and happiness, serve and make you the king of my life. You are everything to me, nothing can change my feelings for you, even death will come to take me someday. I will always be by your side, loving, protecting, caring for, and serving you with all my soul. I love you, my Forth Jaturapoom Jamorhnoom, my husband, my one and only, event death can defeat me from loving you."
Forth entered the apartment and was surprised to find all the lights still on. He looked at his watch. It's two in the morning.
Forth took off his shoes and socks then walked into the living room and was even more surprised to find Beam lying on the sofa, hugging his knees to his chest, like a fetus with his back to the television that was still on broadcasting a cosmetic advertisement.
Forth walked over to the sofa and knelt beside the sofa. "Beam, Baby, why are you sleeping here?" Forth touched Beam's back and kissed his hair. "Get up, honey, let's move to the room."
Beam moved slowly as Forth gently shook his shoulder. He turned and his eyes met Forth's. He raised his hand and touched Forth's cheek. "Forth, are you home?"
"Of course I'm home, Babe, why do you ask? Why are you sleeping here? You don't have to wait for me, Beam."
Beam's tears broke. Forth didn't want him anymore. Forth was very surprised to see Beam suddenly crying. He changed position, sat on the sofa and pulled Beam onto his lap. His heart ached to feel Beam getting thinner lately. Beam refused to look at Forth and he sobbed violently against Forth's chest.
"Hey, Baby, look at me," Forth whispered against Beam's cheek. "Why all of a sudden crying? Are you sick?"
Forth forced Beam to look at him by holding Beam's face with both hands. Beam's eyes were closed but the tears continued to flow.
"Baby, please look at me first," Forth said, wiping Beam's tears. "Please, Beam? What's wrong?"
Beam opened his eyes and looked at Forth who looked confused. "F-Forth, are you mad at me?" asked Beam haltingly. His hands gripped Forth's waist tightly. "I'm sorry, Forth, I'm sorry."
"Hey, what are you talking about? Why should I be mad at you? What happened, Beam, why are you like this?"
Beam gulped. "I will retire, Forth. I'm going to quit my job and stay home. I've forgotten my vows and broken my promise. I promise I'll fix it, Forth, just forgive me," Beam whispered in a trembling voice.
Forth's eyes widened in disbelief. "Beam, Baby, is this news about me and Geny?"
Beam cast his gaze to the side, unable to meet Forth's eyes that he loved so much. However, something on the shoulder of Forth's shirt made Beam's sobs suddenly stop. A smudge of maroon lipstick was clearly printed on Forth's shirt.
Beam turned away from the stain and looked at Forth with tears in his eyes. "Don't leave me, Forth, please, I will do everything as long as you stay with me. I'm sorry, Forth, forgive my selfishness, don't leave me...."
Forth was stunned.
*****
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