1) I know how batteries feel because I'm rarely included in anything.
2) I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
3) A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
4) What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business.
5) What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!
6) The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
7) You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.
8) If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.
9) A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
10) How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
11) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
12) What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
13) Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
14) Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
15) Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.
16) What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
17) My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
18) What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.
19) Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like bananas.
20) How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.
21) Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”
22) Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.
23) Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
24) Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!
25) What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
26) I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
27) Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
28) When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
29) I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
30) What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
31) How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
32) PMS should just be called ovary-acting.
33) Pampered cows produce spoiled milk.
34) Learn sign language, it’s very handy.
35) Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Ok so still trying to figure out if I should stop at 100 chapters or go on, and I wanted to know who laughed their butts off at the six offender one.
YOU ARE READING
Awesome Jokes :-)
RandomI want to know that I bring laughter to my fallowers and I don't want anyone to think I'm stealing any jokes so please enjoy.
