(Y/n) POV)
(2 years later)
Old Bastard: "You there!" Armin salutes.
Armin: "Yes, sir!"
Old Bastard: "Who are you?"
Arimin: "Armin Arlert, from Zhiganshina!"
Old Bastard: "Yeah? That's a stupid name. Your parents give you that?"
Armin: "My grandfather!"
Old Bastard: "Arlert, what are you doing here?"
Armin: "Trying to aid humanity's victory!"
Old Bastard: "That is indeed wonderful... Then you will feed the titans. Row 3, about face!" He turns Armin around with his bare hand. "Who are you?" He walked up to another blonde.
'I'm starting to think he has something against blondes.'
Blondie: "Thomas Wagner, from Trost!" He salutes as well.
Old Bastard: "I can't hear you!"
Tommy: "Thomas Wagner, from-"
Old Bastard: "Too soft! Go practice in the cattle shed! You next!"
Mina: "Mina Karolina, from Karanes!"
Old Bastard: "Wrong! You are from the pig shed, worth less than cattle."
Mina: "Yes, sir! I am less than cattle!"
Old Bastard: "No, you're a fly, swarming around a pig's ass!"
'It's getting progressively harder not to laugh."
Old Bastard: "Next!"
Spare Food: "Samuel Linke-Jackson, from Snate Village!"
Old Bastard: "A horrible name! Change it now! What are you doing here?"
Spare Food: "Sacrificing myself for humanity!"
Old Bastard: "Row 4, about face!" I wanted to laugh so badly. "Listen up! I've seen a lot of shit in my time, but you are the sorriest pieces of shit I've ever seen. You're in for three years of hell!" He walks up to a horse faced fucker next. "Who are you?"
Horse Face: "Jean Kirschstein, from Trost!"
Old Bastard: "What are you doing here?"
Horse Face: "Joining the Military Police, for a life deep within the walls."
Old Bastard: "Oh, I see... You want access to the interior?"
Horse Face: "Yes." Old bastard then headbutts the fuck out of horse face. I small laugh escaped but I quickly silenced it.
Old Bastard: "Who said you could sit down?! Anyone who can't handle this will never make the Military Police!" He moves on again. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"
Marco: "Marco Bott, Jinae City, Wall Rose South District! I want to join the Military Police, to offer the King my body and self in service!"
Old Bastard: "Really... I'm glad to hear that. Good luck. However... The King doesn't want your body." He moves on once more. "Next! You! Who are you?"
Jacked Hairline: "Connie Springer, of Ragako Village, Wall Rose South District!" He's then lifted by his head.
Old Bastard: "You're doing it wrong, Connie Springer. I explained that this salute demonstrates your resolve to devote your entire heart to the people. Is your heart on the right side?" He then freezes as he spots a girl... eating a potato. I was right next to this girl... Oh he's coming over.... "Hey, you... What are you doing?" She looks around as if not aware he was speaking to her. I almost broke when she took another bite of the potato. "You're the one I'm talking to! You! Who are you?!" She swallows the bite in her mouth and salutes, potato in hand.
