blondie | valtteri bottas [COMPLETED]

dima | 01

tw: mention of stillbirth and post-natal-trauma
and you're not tripping. i did change the main characters name from salwa to dima.

[905 words]

dima dumped her stuff in the chair next to her and sighed as she sat down.

she couldn't believe it.

her flight was cancelled due to some issue of flying over disputed territory. whatever that meant. she didn't have time to process before the plane offloaded passengers with the promise of refunds.

it didn't take much time for dima to find the next ticket to beirut from helsinki but with some long pretentious stopover that would avoid the disputed zone.

she had planned on flying out for quite a while after her divorce was finalised and her leg was bouncing up and down. she couldn't wait to leave this country.

she felt like she was suffocating in the finnish air. once upon a time she loved her life here.

successful, graduated, nice job, married, a kid along the way, a lovely family, good friends. all of it.

it seemed perfect and in fact a little too perfect. she knew she couldn't have it all. while she was resigned to this fact, she hadn't anticipated it to hurt this much. she didn't expect it to mean that a big chunk of her life spent with her best friend turned lover turned husband would come to an end.

dima and lukas had seen it coming but that didn't make it hurt less.

the couple were in love. there was no denying it. dima's lebanese father would have done everything in his power to ensure they didn't go through with it if he didn't trust lukas. if her dad trusted lukas, then it was a green light for everyone.

the issue wasn't them, the issue was the baby that never happened.

they were expecting a little boy before it all went horribly wrong. they had painted the nursery in their cute little house a bright yellow, bought anything they found related to babies, cared for it and whatnot. they were the happiest they'd ever been. except the baby wasn't alive when it was born. nothing they knew of could've triggered it.

the doctors had some complicated explanations for it, but that didn't stop her from feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt about it. lukas knew and they both became unhappy not wanting the other to suffer.

something had changed that day. she had never been religious as a christian, but she found herself praying more and more that this loss wouldn't be accompanied by another one.

a year after that incident, she had accepted that it was fate. their baby was never meant to live. it had taken an immense amount of help but she finally accepted that what happened wasn't her fault.

she noticed it. lukas was drifting away while he was in her arms and she couldn't do anything but watch in helplessly.

what used to embrace became silent nods, what used to be dated became burdens. they couldn't stay in each other's company anymore.

she had realised that she'd have to let lukas go. but that didn't mean she wanted to. she adored him, he was her husband because he was her best friend. she couldn't handle leaving the man that knew her better than anyone.

that day came. they both had signed those papers and both couldn't look the other in the eye as it happened. they both felt like they let the other down.

it had been half a year since then, it was a terrible few months at the beginning not having someone to wake up with but eventually, she managed on her own. she hoped he was well too.

yet, she wanted a break. her job was fulfilling, she was an event planner but seeing all those happy marriages she had planned for others made her a little bitter.

she had even debated giving her newly rented apartment up.

and then randomly, she remembered the sunny streets of beirut. her fathers home had been left far undisturbed for far too long. she was going to leave for a while and decide on what to do. maybe she'll never come back to the place she grew up in.

but those thoughts seem far away from the present. fate seemed to be against her again as she realised that the flight she had booked for a replacement took off days later. she didn't feel like a very good planner at the moment.

she felt like throwing her phone. this wasn't fun.

feeling slightly sluggish, she picked herself up with a slight pep-talk. admittedly, she looked a little weird speaking to herself in a slight mumble with little words of arabic mixing into finnish.

'you're going to get up and get some coffee. then, you'll sit and have some cake with said coffee. then, you'll pick up the laptop and look for another flight. you won't stress. you'll just pick a flight and shut the laptop and go home for a few days. okay?' she felt like smiling at the end of it. she was prepared.

she stood up from her seat outside the airport's arrivals terminal and got both of her bags to make her way inside and buy a damn coffee.

she was walking when a man managed to splash a lot of hot hot coffee on her lower half.

as if this day couldn't get any worse.

—

love that his trademark is coffee and porridge. absolutely superb you funky little finn.