the avatar, and that one good firebender, lee

fire, part ten

the first day after the battle at wulong forest--the phoenix king dethroned, the earth kingdom saved, and the almost-firelord incapacitated--zuko leaves, just for a moment, at dawn. his sister sleeps dormant, (the very first thing he'd checked for) or so he hopes, but with his exhaustion mulling over the doubt, he settles for the pond in the courtyard garden. with no sunlight, only dim moonlight, the turtleducks, too, stay dormant, slumbering beside their mother in a hand-made shelter. zuko, biting back a groan from his hissing wounds, slowly lays himself down on the tiled concrete. far less comfortable than a bed, but it keeps him awake.

the silence lasts for a few moments, passing by in mindless charity, and he looks up at the static sky, a midnight blue muffled by thick grey clouds passing through the far moonlight. a time ago, that zuko can barely recall, he once stood on the main deck of the jasmine dragon--swaying by the waves; and he nearly imagines himself now, flat on the ground, victim to waves and tides as he was before--watching the same sight, wondering if two views of the same sky were, indeed, the same. now, he answers himself: no . and he doesn't know why.

like that one night, its silence broken by crunching glass, the peace dwindles down as, in the far distance, a door slides open. and, almost faint, he hears, "lee? i-i mean, zuko! are you okay?"

the hesitant steps build into a rushed, worried approach. he doesn't bother moving. drawing closer, sokka slows his hurry, relieved. he bends down beside the prince, peeking at him, "why're you out here all alone? some introspective thought?"

"no," he sits up. sokka sits down. "why, what's wrong?"

"toph said she felt someone go outside," sokka explains. "she's such a light sleeper, sometimes we can't even sleep because she feels a leaf move. i came out to check so they could go back to sleep." hm. "why are you out here? you should be resting."

in all other instances, zuko would shrug. but, minding said wounds, he settles for a short sigh. "the last few times i've been here, it hasn't been pleasant." the agni kai, breaking into his room to steal his broadswords before confronting his father, and getting kidnapped--not so pleasant at all. "i don't know, i just couldn't sleep in my old bed anymore."

sokka nods along, contemplating how to respond. zuko spares a glance at the water tribe boy; his careless hands, his thoughtless gaze. meeting his eyes, zuko recalls that one moment, in this very courtyard, where he viewed him less than friendly. and it comes blurting out, "how badly did i hurt you?"

"what?" it's a surprise for both of them. "what do you mean?"

"i lied to you." the reminder warrants a short grimace. zuko continues, scooting in his seat to face him. "for nearly a year, i lied to you. i served you tea, came close to your sister, your father, a--"

"zuko, please."

he bites his lip, and down with it the rest of his list. sokka avoids his eyes, looking down at his feet, and zuko settles for, "i hurt you. i know, out of all of you guys, my lie hurt you the most." a heavy sigh. sokka raises his head, looking aside. "how can you trust me now?"

their so-called friendship was always peculiar. zuko can't quite place where sokka began to trust him--after learning he was a firebender--and where they began to view each other as friends. on his end, zuko learned the watertribe boy to be a strategic one, a thoughtful one, and, like all others, a doubtful one. he can't fathom what sokka learned him to be.

"do you not trust me, now?" zuko asks. sokka clenches his jaw, offering a soft sigh. "i-it's okay, i understand, it's just--"

"what do you want from me?" his voice asks, quiet. his hand comes to his neck, rubbing his skin, and he meets his eyes, "you want me to tell you how much it hurt? to learn the one fire nation friend i convinced myself to trust and care about was actually lying to my face the entire time we've known each other?" zuko can't help but wince. "yeah, i'll tell you: out of all the fire nation buddies i've ever faced, you were the one that got to me the most. what hurt the most isn't that you hid your name. i trusted you with my life, my sister's life, aang's," sokka bites his lips, mulling over his last words, but, with hard breath, he says it, "and you just didn't trust me with yours."