A Court of Shadows and Rage (Azriel x OC)

The Darker Parts

Azriel had never been able to sleep much. 

Intuned with the darker side of the world, he found night and darkness a comfort. Shadows loved him because he found a place in the dark of his own life. So, insomnia had become a facet of his person. At times, it worked like a tool for the spymaster's arsenal. 

After making love to Brinna, he'd worshipped her until she was writhing beneath him. Licked at her until she released herself completely, and still something ate at him like she was holding back. Like she'd locked some part of her away, and he wouldn't relent until he clawed through every part of her. 

He wanted to possess her, as she had possessed him from the beginning. 

Azriel had fallen asleep like a babe, head perched atop her bosom as her fingers raked through his hair, soft and soothing. Fingernails gliding across hi scalp until he drifted. 

He awoke to the soft scent of sex and glittering ice, of her – everywhere and all around him. He turned on his side, wings stretching carefully with the movement as he flickered golden eyes open slowly. 

And then all at once. 

No Brinna. 

He jerked up, waking abruptly, as he passed his vision across the room speculatively. His keen eyes caught the note and covered tray immediately. Gently, he pulled the deep blue ribbon from around the roll of parchment to read her elegant scroll. 

Az, 

You are everything to me. But you must know that you are everything to everyone. Cassian and Rhys love you, Feyre loves you, Nesta too. Each person in this family I've found cares more for you than I believe you have ever realized. 

But I see you. I know you. I know you consider yourself unworthy, because of the blood on your hands that you can never wash off, because I felt that way too. 

Before you. 

You are my light. You are my shield, my sword, my protector, and my partner. 

And I know you'll never forgive me for what I must do. 

I just needed you to know this first – that I accept every part of you, always. 

And you were too good for me anyways. 

Hands shaking, he removed the cloche from the tray to see a tray of chocolate strawberries. 

Her acceptance of the bond. 

Fuck this. He wouldn't allow her to do this. To accept him and leave him behind. 

As if she were the one unworthy. 

And damn the Cauldron for gifting him a mate who scraped her knees with the desperate pull of being below him. She was his complete and total equal. If he had to take her to his damned torture chamber, lock her away with only him and rebuild her by telling her how beautiful, wonderful, smart, talented, strong – how everything she was, he would. FIght him all she wanted, he'd never leave her side again. 

He was the shadowsinger, but he would be her shadow before his damned court.

Feeling as though his heart might crack into pieces, he nearly crumpled the note in his fist, before setting it down and standing and donning his leathers. He reached for where he'd laid Truthteller the night before. Like always, considering he was a bit of a control freak with his blades and knives. 

Gone. 

The blade was gone.

He nearly chuckled, imagining her delicate, beautiful hands sheathing it at her side. Taking him with her.