Tightrope

Keep Talking Dirty To Me

"What should I wear to this thing?" I asked.

I groaned in frustration as I disregarded yet another ridiculous floor-length dress. My wardrobe had accumulated a lot of outfits that remained untouched, and they had been untouched for a reason. I really needed to look into donating them, but honestly, some of the monstrosities my mother had purchased I couldn't bear to inflict upon a thrift store. It would be cruel to charity.

Discarding another outfit, I sighed. "Elena said casual and effortless, which is a weird brief, and she said not to go too over the top. Who has that as a bridesmaid wedding outfit?"

"Country people," said Knight. "They're all whackjobs."

"Can I have some real suggestions, please?"

"How about a hat?" he suggested, glancing up from his phone at the pile of dresses strewn across my floor. "Like, just a hat."

"A hat," I deadpanned, levelling him with a blank stare.

Knight shrugged. "What? It would be really funny. At least Hartley would enjoy the pictures."

I shot him a thinly veiled smile. "Wonderful advice, but I think I'd be a little underdressed, don't you?"

He contemplated this for a moment. "Well, I suppose you could wear socks as well."

"Thank you so much for your contribution."

"Any time."

I examined a knee length red dress with a critical eye, noted the cute little bow near the neck and immediately discarded it. I scowled in frustration. "Who just tells their bridesmaids, 'oh, it's a casual wedding, just wear whatever you want'? That's not even a thing. Bridesmaids do not just get to pick whatever they want. What if Kaelin shows up in jeans? Oh, God, Kaelin is going to show up in jeans. Elena has gone around the bend."

"Woah, okay, calm down Brideszilla," said Knight. "Man, I do not look forward to being your Maid of Honor."

"It is not unreasonable to be concerned about these things! Why couldn't Elena just get us matching bridesmaid dresses like a normal person!"

"Maybe she didn't want to pay for five expensive dresses?"

"We are wealthy people, Knight. She can afford it." I flung another stack of fabrics onto my bed. "And we won't match! Aren't we supposed to match? They all matched in Bridesmaids."

"And that was a shitshow. Besides from what I remember of Elena, I don't think she will care."

"What do you remember of Elena?" I said with a glare.

Knight shrugged. "She was so desperate to not seem rich that she went completely the other way. Don't her and Jack live in a tiny little farmhouse out in the country?"

That was... true. My cousin Elena and her fiancé, Jack, lived out in Casserine, a small country town without even a WIFI signal. Kaelin, Alec and Harry had lived out there for a few weeks last year and, in Kaelin's word, had almost died from the 'complete lack of infrastructure in the archaic excuse for a town'. She clearly hadn't minded too much, though, because that was how she'd met her stunningly attractive football star boyfriend, Julian.

And it wasn't as if Elena couldn't afford to move their little family—Jack and his younger sister, Holly—to an upper-class area with large acreage and opulent furnishings. I guess she was chill to an extent that transcended everyday concerns. It was a chill that I did not—and never would—possess.

"They do," I confirmed. "The wedding is in Casserine as well. It's supposed to be cute and rustic."

"So, wear something cute and rustic." He snapped his fingers. "Oh, I hear barrels are trendy. You could cut some holes in it: it would be so cute and would really fit the theme."