Tightrope

Naked and Dancing

"Lena, you have a visitor," said Dad, peeking out from around the door.

I sat upright. "Knight? Is he back?"

Jace had dropped me off yesterday; and I'd spent the rest of the night pacing holes in my carpet, up and down, up and down, shooting tentative glances at the cupboard door, remembering the months that Knight had spent locked behind it. My eyes felt sore and swollen, and my heart felt like it had wrenched from my chest.

Dad's expression—sympathy and regret–told me that my visitor was not Knight. My stomach sunk. I missed him like a limb; he had become that for me, somehow. I was used to talking out loud, knowing that he was always at my side to respond to my thoughts with an annoying comment or sly side eye. I was used to his presence; always there, night and day. I was used to his stupid singing and obsessed for teen TV shows and constant text messages if I ever had the audacity to leave him.

He wasn't just my best friend, he was my brother. He was the one person I wanted to confide anything and everything in. And after everything that had happened between Jace and I on the trip, the only person I wanted to talk to was Knight. I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around it all without him.

Dad pulled open the door further to let a surprising guest in.

"McKenna?"

She smiled shyly, offering me a small box of chocolates. "I thought you might need this."

I accepted the box gratefully, hugging it to my chest. Dad closed the door behind him, leaving McKenna standing awkwardly near the door with her hands hanging near her sides, no longer occupied by the box. I patted the spot next to me. "Did you want to talk?"

Relief passed over her face as she moved to sit on the bed. I could see that her hands were fidgeting nervously. I didn't say anything, letting her take a moment to collect her thoughts. Her face was slightly white, and a million possibilities raced through my head. Was someone dead? Did she know something about Knight? Was Knight dead? Was Jace dead?

I rocked back slightly. "Is everyone okay? Did you hear something about Knight? Is he okay. Oh god, please tell me he's okay."

McKenna shook her head. "I don't know anything, sorry. Is he missing? I didn't know."

I grimaced. "Yeah. My, um, my dad found out he was living here and before I could explain he'd run off."

"Knight was living here?"

I smiled slightly. "Um, yeah. He was. But I think he thought I'd kick him out now that my family knows, and he ran off before that could happen. I'm just worried."

McKenna stood up. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't say any of this. You're clearly going through a rough time. I have a car, I could go out and look for him?"

I grabbed her hand gently. "Thanks, McKenna. Liv and Mum are out looking now. We can go look for him later, but how about you just say what you wanted to say? I can't handle the mystery."

Thoughts of Knight had tortured me for hours, the mystery of his whereabouts keeping me up all night. I couldn't handle a second mystery.

McKenna nodded slowly, sitting down again tentatively. She had almost seemed relieved for the distraction, and now the stress of her impending speech had come back. I looked at her expectantly, as she inhaled deeply and looked nervously over at me.

"You know that I used to date Jace, right?" said McKenna, stumbling over her words slightly.

I placed my hand on her shoulder. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. It was a conversation that was inevitable, and guilt had been eating me up since Philip Island. I remembered the strange look on McKenna's face when she'd seen me with Jace. The expression she wore every time she looked at him. "I'm really sorry, McKenna. Really sorry. We have always been friends, and exes are totally off-limits. It was... I really didn't want to hurt you, and I know that I don't really deserve your forgiveness, but I want you to know that I didn't intentionally set out to hurt you and feel genuinely awful for my actions."