The other Berry

The Quarterback

(This episode is extremely triggering for those who struggle with death and mental health issues. Please feel free to skip this chapter as I will add a recap next chapter that doesn't include the triggering things. This chapter is mostly like the original one, as the previous one showed Lillie's personal experiences that had happened while this was going on. I have now changed it to first person, so it's like Lillie is speaking for herself. RIP Cory❤️)

RECAP OF LAST TIME:: LESS TRIGGERING BUT STILL A TRIGGER WARNING:: SUICIDE AND MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES::
Last chapter, Lillie's locker got vandalised, which had a homophobic slur written on it, some old photos of her old relationships, and a doll made to look like her, along with a rope with a n0*se. She found out the news about Finn, so she went over to Sam's for comfort. But when Sam was in the shower, Lillie found out that he was cheating on her with Rachel, which had been going on since Mr Shue's wedding! They had a huge argument where they yelled at eachother, which led to Lillie slamming the door and running away. She then locked herself in her bathroom, looked through her MySpace messages and comments which were filled with homophobic comments. She found pills and then proceeded to attempt to take her own life. Sam burst into the room and yelled which caused her dads to come and call the ambulance. She got taken in, had to stay in for hours, but the whole time, Sam was holding her hand. He spoke to her while she was sleeping about his mistakes and how much he loves her etc. She woke up and heard what he said, they've talked a lot and made up.

{in this chap, it's a few weeks after so they made up after a while}
——
I, and the other New Directions, including the alumni have just finished singing Seasons Of Love in honour of Finn.

"Still nothing from Rachel?" I ask Kurt over the phone as I throw another crumpled tissue in the bin.
"She isn't coming, Lil" Kurt sighs as he looks out of the train window.

Mr Shue has planned a special memorial week for us in glee club, in honour of Finn. I know how much it hurts him, but it hurts us all too. I lost a friend. I lost a brother. So did Kurt.

"I'll see you when you get here. I'll be at the station" I confirm before hanging up.

I grab my coat and leave in direction of the station.
My dads are worried about me. They know how close I was to Finn. He was like a brother to me. After the events that have happened in the past few weeks, they've been keeping a close eye on me. And so has most other people. They try to act like they're not, so I pretend to not notice them watching my every move.

I'm more worried about Rachel, though. Kurt said she hasn't been out of her room since the funeral, and only comes out when it's time to get the food in the kitchen. Even then, she's distant from everyone, doesn't say a word and always has red, puffy eyes. I can't imagine what she must be going through.
I want to be there for my sister. But how can I when she won't talk to anyone?

——

"I'm really glad so many of you could make it back for this" Mr Shuester greets everyone as they sit in the seats in the choir room gloomily.
"We wouldn't miss it for anything, Mr Shue" Mike looks at the ground.

I sigh as I pick at my nail polish. I'm sitting just outside the choir room, slumped against a locker where nobody inside can see me, but I can hear them.
I can't go in there. There's too many familiar faces that I associate with him. It reminds me of the time at the train station. Where everyone was waving Rachel away. Why did he let me go? Why couldn't he of hugged me for just a second longer. What I would give to hug him right now, and for him to tell me that it's all going to be okay.

"The funeral was for everyone, but I wanted to do something just for us. To memorialise him the only way we know how...by singing" Mr Shue sighs "All week long. Anyone who wants to come up and sing. Maybe a song he sung, maybe something that reminds you of him..."
"Singing isn't going to bring him back" Puck comments.
"No, it's not. Nothing is. Not ever. But...for two minutes or so, we can all maybe remember the best parts of him. So, think of what you want to sing, if you want to sing, and we'll start tomorrow"
"Oh, I-I can't wait until tomorrow, Mr Shue. I've been bawling for three weeks. If I don't get this all out now, I don't think I'll ever stop crying" Mercedes announces as I hear her getting closer to the door.
"Sure, Mercedes, start us off"
"I, uh, remember Finn telling me that he sang this song to his baby's sonogram. Well, he thought it was his baby" Mercedes chuckles softly, making me smile to myself for a second at the memory "He was the first cool kid to be nice to any of us, and he was...our leader in here. We love you, Finn"