Internal darkness

Chapter 2

"AMYYYYYYY." I hate being woken up especially when Riley wakes me up. She's the most obnoxious bitch I've ever met. Sometimes I just wanna strangle her. She's my best friend though so I would never do that and she also helps with my jobs so I kinda can't kill her. I need her. Not only for my jobs but for staying alive sometimes.

"I'M AWAKE BITCH!" I scream at her to shut her up.

"Oh good get ready we're going to Franceeeeee." She's very excited. I love that she's happy to go to France but I'm tired and have a fucking headache so I'm gonna need her to quiet down for a bit. I'm not gonna tell her that though. She's just as messed up as I am sometimes. She just hides it better than me. I worry about her sometimes. I hope she doesn't do what I did. I'm a monster. I know she's better than me.

She's been helping me kill since I started. Her dad's friends with my dad were kinda related but not really we think of each other as siblings. My mom treats her like a second daughter. I think she likes that because her mom is dead. She died in a robbery a few years ago. Riley was crushed, she loved her mom. About a month after that she started killing with me. I think it was too much at once for her but she's as good as one can be when they kill people for a living.

Her favorite part about this is traveling. Before we started killing she always wanted to travel the world. The one place she wanted to go to more than anything was Paris. I think the hotel we are staying at is only about Twenty minutes away from Paris. I'm gonna surprise her after we get the job done and take her to the eiffel tower. She's gonna freak but that's the point.

She's straight as far as I know I think she's crushing on someone though. Last night she slept over when I got home and she was already here. When I walked in she had this big smile on her face looking at her phone. Maybe it was just a fan edit of Louis Tomlinson though she really likes him. She's very invested in the Larry Stylinson theory. I don't really care to listen to her rambling anymore.

"Ok come on get up you're already packed and the car will be here in twenty."

"Why aren't we taking my car?" I love my car. We always take it to the airport. I don't know why this time would be any different. I love my car so much because it's the first thing I ever bought for myself. It's a black g wagon. It's matte Riley said I should have gotten white but I like the black its sleek and looks cleaner.

"I don't know your dad said to be ready in twenty cause theres a car on its way." I ignore the throbbing in my head and I get up. I can't stand yet because I'll get a dizzy spell if I do. I have low iron so I need to get up slowly.

This whole trip is starting to be a little suspicious. We don't go international alot but when we do it's planned like a month ahead of time. I only knew we were leaving three days ago. We're killing this guy who stole from someone. My dad wouldn't tell me much but there's always more info on the plane. He likes putting together a case file almost.

The plane is amazing. It reminds me of criminal minds a lot. I've always had a thing for Emily and JJ. They would be one hell of a couple. There both hot as fuck and togther would be amazing. I overthink a lot, maybe there's nothing out of the ordinary at all and it was just a little rushed but I do have a bad feeling about this. If it goes wrong it'll be my fault. It always is.

While I was thinking about criminal minds I managed to get dressed and was walking downstairs now. I made sure I brought my favorite knife. It's the most detailed and its most fun to use. I think my mom is still asleep. It is kinda early. It's 8:00 am and she doesn't get up until nine.

I know my dads asleep. He's always either sleeping or locked up in his office. That's how it's always been; he's never taken the time to get to know his own children. I don't even think he remembers when my birthday is. I always hear mom remind him about it. His form of gift is money of course. So every birthday I get a thousand dollars in cash. He also adds to my trust fund.

Most kids would assume that just because we are rich makes us happy. It's true what they say for some people. Money can buy happiness and my dad's one of those people. My moms not and I can tell she was never in it for the money. She's only married to my dad because her dad liked him alot and she didn't want to disappoint him. I understand why she did it if my mom wanted me to marry a certain girl I would because I never want to disappoint my mom.

On our way to the airport I noticed we were going to a different airport. Maybe it's just because we're flying internationally but we never fly out of a different airport even though I know my dad owns like four of them. He buys a new one every year he says it's a good source of money. He's not wrong but why buy one every year we have enough money.

A Lot of my money goes to charities. My mom also donates once a month my dads never donated. Not that I know of at least. His money goes to business and weed so. Riley and I do a lot of charity at least once a week. It makes me feel better about my job. My dad called me a wimp the first time I killed because I threw up after. I was only 15.

When I came out I expected him to get mad and throw things but he didn't. He told me not to fuck anyone im meant to kill. I was definitely shocked but I just said ok and walked away. I'm really glad he doesn't care because it would've made my life a lot harder. My mom took it really well; she did cry though only because she was proud of me. She did ask if that means I won't have kids and I didn't answer her because I don't know.

I wish I knew. I don't think I will though because I don't know if my jobs are ever gonna not be killing people. I don't want to raise my kids around death. I will not have kids if they're going to grow up anything like I did. I would never put mine or anyone else's kid in that situation. I know I'm never going to get out of the mafia because it's in my blood but I could just stop killing. I don't think my dad would ever allow me to do that though.

I don't even believe in love anymore, it only exists in books and movies. It's a fairytale. I hate fairy tales because it's all a lie you are never gonna be able to talk to animals or be a fairy. It's honestly why so many people despise the world because we were told the fake version and then when you realize you were lied to it hurts. For a lot of people pain turns into anger and I'm one of those people. I think that's why I do my job so well because I channel all of my pain into one kill and it helps me feel a little bit better.

When we get on the plane Riley is texting her little boyfriend again. I want to ask her about it but I don't want to pry. She never asks me so i'm not gonna ask her but it's very tempting so I just stare at her, She's smiling again there's this sparkle in her eye when she smiles like this. It's cute. I love seeing her happy but we do have to go over the case as we call it.

"Hey you in lala land over there sorry to interrupt but we need to look at the details on why we're killing this guy." That seems to jump her out of her little bubble; her smile doesnt leave her face though.

"Yea sorry I was texting a friend." Fucking liar I know for a fact that's not a friend but again I'm not gonna ask.

"Oh what's his name, do I know him?" Ok maybe fuck the prying I just wanna know.

"No you don't I met him the last time we went to New York we've kept in touch." Ok, I see this is who she met up with before we left New York last month. That makes a lot of sense. I still don't know who he is though.

"Oh he's the one you met up with right?"

"Yea he's nice so we kept in touch."

"That's cool you need more friends than just me cause I'm not very reliable anymore." I just realized she's now gonna ask a million questions on why I just said that I'm a dumbass.

"You are reliable, you gotta stop saying that." Ok, she's not asking a million questions this is good, great even.

"Yeah, whatever, who are we killing?"