A Wolf's Tear

thirty-one: with what you will

Nathaniel watches as the car Selena left with disappears from his vision. He gulps, gripping the stone balcony railing. The engulfing storm he was in was palpable. It issued his strength and his anger, enough to cause the railing to crack.

He was angry for failing to pull himself out of his habits.

But the actions he took were all from what his father taught him. It was some sort of play-by-play that he followed. He didn’t want to lie that with all the successful steps of the plan, there was a cacophony of voices in his head saying to derail everything and run to Selena and beg her to stay.

His words just minutes ago were all true. If she would only let him, he would do everything in his power to prove himself to her.

Though all of that wishful thinking lead him spiraling down.

Staying strong is the only arrow left in his quiver. Appearing weak in his mate’s eyes was not a thing he was very excited about. So he shook his dread off, hiding his emotion under the veneer of a composed expression.

As his father had said, ‘Know your worth. Let your wolves see what you want them to see.’

He steps back from the balcony, determined to remove the ache that laid within his body.

His long legs strode through the halls, eyes cast forward with only one destination in mind. Selena’s arrival invoked different kinds of feelings. Before her, he could only remember a handful of times that he truly lost his temper. He was irrational a lot of times and always quick to serve his wolves.

But with her, Nathaniel looked back at his choices and realized how much he placed himself before others. It took her leaving before he saw that oversight. That shouldn’t have been a problem but since Katie left, he felt unburdened from her cries and pleas for his attention.

For him, Katie seemed like a bad memory that tried leech on him as before he was ready to fight tooth and nail for her. Afraid that one simple ‘no’ would irreversibly damage her. Now, he wanted to believe that she was just a fever dream he wished was all over.

‘Nathaniel, will you marry me?’ Katie asks, her hopeful eyes trained on Nathaniel’s.

He looks around him as a crowd of people started to flock around them. They stare in awe, some cheering him on to say yes, while others laughed excitedly.

His heartbeat goes into overdrive and his chest constricts as he forced out a smile and answered;

‘Y-yes.’ He whispers.

A loud cheer erupts from behind him and nervousness creeps up the side of his neck. Katie dawns a happy smile as she stood and jumped in his arms, catching his lips.

While Katie murmured again and again how she loved him, all he could think of that moment was how empty he felt and that his mate was alone in a cabin.

He was mortified when he found himself wanting to erase Katie’s existence. It made him hate himself even more that the girl whom he sheltered caused him the love of his life.

Though he wasn’t clean at all. Part of him hoped for a reboot and make different decisions. But does Katie’s life truly mean nothing to him at that point enough for him to readily want to delete?

After he ended the phone call he had with Katie, a sense of liberty dawned on him. It created a void in his stomach that he didn’t know how to fill in.

With that happening, he had since realized that losing an extra leg made him run faster or lighter.

He turns into a corner and saw his wolves guarding their posts. With an affirmed nod, he stops in front of them and places his hand behind his back. The wolves in front of him cowered before him. A tug on his chest caused him to deeply frown. He was always saddened whenever his subordinates would display any kind of fear when he was around. It pained him to think that his presence was indeed truly that foul enough to shake his men and women’s resolve.