A Wolf's Tear

thirty four: the right

In a matter of moments, Nathaniel realized his whole life was one big unending cycle of lies and promises stretched to absurdity.

The Moon’s retribution does exist.

His father’s confession, the discovery of another brother, and his mother’s truth all contributed to him hardening his head but he maintained a cool composure knowing he needed to resolve these problems as fast as possible.

He gritted his teeth as Eliza leaned on him. The two full hours that preceded after he stormed into Eliza’s room were quiet. They grieved their losses.

For Nathaniel, his respect and admiration for his father went down the drain when he realized he was hurting his wife behind the scene, making Nathaniel angrier knowing that Eliza loved him so much.

Love how? Loved wickedly enough to not leave him and take his fists. Nathaniel pulled on his hair hopelessly. Muttering in his mind how he failed to see everything. However, he could see that her feelings were true and that irritated him.

“Unbelievable, mother.” He murmurs lowly.

Eliza nuzzles her face on his shoulder.

Is it possible to care for someone and hate them with the same intensity?

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” She pleaded.

Hearing her broken voice was crippling him. Never had he heard this much anguish from anyone before and coming from Eliza, it brought him down. He wanted to tell her that nothing about this was her fault while at the same time wanting to say the opposite.

‘Think, Nathaniel.’ He says to himself.

The staleness of the situation was quickly creeping under his skin at the time where he needed to get things in a row quickly.

His hands gently remove her from him, creating a safe distance between them. Her distraught reaction made him regret pulling but he stoned himself.

“Mother, we need to talk.” He says. This wasn’t something that they could pick up on later. It needed to be finished now or started otherwise, it may come to destroy their lives. Though looking at it now, his life was in shambles and the smokes and mirrors pack Morris was built upon were now disappearing as a quick act of illusion.

“But I’m not ready yet.”

Eliza leans forward, sparing him a bereft glance before she tucked her face between her knees.

He hated how his heart needed to be always tough and how he wanted to prove himself that he was stronger, better than his father without knowing why. He couldn’t afford to appear weak nor pretend that none of the things around him was happening.

He needed to come second, that’s always been his life. And to escape it was impossible when it's all he’s ever known.

“I don’t want to be unfair, mother but you’ve had months to confess after his death but you hid. Don’t you realize he was a scum?”

No other storms were as thunderous as his mother’s glare. The way her eyes glowed brightly with unbearable rage took him by surprise.

“Don’t you dare call him that!” She shrieked. “He was scared and confused and bullied.”

His jaw locked, for a moment he wanted to raise his voice back and let his grief pour out of his mouth like water from a broken sink. His shoulders are lowered as he runs a hand through his hair.

“The cheating husband was scared, confused, and bullied.” He answers calmly. Though his heart protested, his mind couldn’t comprehend how heavy the situation was and so he let himself spill, filtering out the words he deemed were going too far.