A Second Chance At Love

The Guilt

*The next day, Madison was overwhelmed with all the thoughts she had about the situation. She paced back and forth in her room with her phone in her hand. Madison contemplated what to tell Nathaniel. She didn't want to risk losing her friendship. The feelings she had for Nathaniel made it hard to not want to risk it all. She stopped pacing and looked down at her phone screen. *

**OVER TEXT**

Madison: Hey.

Nathaniel: Finally!

Madison: You sat by the phone waiting for me to text?

Nathaniel: I'd never confess that out loud though.

Madison: You are something else. So I think I've made a decision.

Nathaniel: Let me hear it.

Madison: I love you.

Nathaniel: I love you too.

Madison: It's been killing me inside thinking about all this. In every way, I'm going to lose.

Nathaniel: What do you mean?

Madison: I can't hurt Lana. I won't. If that means I'm gonna lose you, so be it.

Nathaniel: Are you sure that's what you want?

Madison: I want you. I also want my friendship. You've made it impossible to have both.

Nathaniel: I can't be your friend. There's too much there.

Madison: I understand. It's okay.

Nathaniel: I love you.

*Madison stared at the message and broke down into tears. She felt as though she had lost everything and nothing would ever be the same*

*Over the next few weeks, Madison distanced herself from her friend group. She tried not to run into Alana, Brittany or Nathaniel. It seemed to be working for a while until exams came around.*

Alana: Maddie!!!!

Madison: Hey.

Alana: *she punched her shoulder* Where the hell have you been? You haven't responded to any of my calls and texts.

Madison: I know. I'm sorry. I've been out of it to be honest.

Alana: So instead of getting help, you ghosted everyone?

Madison: You know me. I like to deal with stuff on my own.

Alana: Yeah, there's that. Please don't do it again, okay? I'm here for you.

Madison: Thank you sweetie. *she hugged her*

Alana: Where are you headed to now?

Madison: We have to prep for that exam so, I'm gonna get something to eat then go up to the room.

Alana: Okay. I'll see you there.

*After school*

Brittany: What are you guys doing after graduation?

Madison: I wanted to do dance choreography but my mom said no. I think I'll try teaching.

Brittany: That would definitely suit you.

Madison: Yeah maybe. What will you do?

Brittany: I'm gonna stay here for another year or two to figure it out.

Madison: What about you Alana?

Alana: The same as Brit  I think.

Madison: Aww. I'm gonna be all alone in the college world.

Brittany: Girl. Get your license so we can go out all the time.

Madison: You want to see me crash, don't you?

Brittany: It's not that bad.

Madison: Says the person with a mother who drives like a pro race car driver.

Brittany: She's just crazy. I think driving helps her get out her anger.

Madison: You got that right.

Nathaniel: You sure you want to leave high school now?

Madison: *she hesitated* Yeah. I think the new environment will do me good.

Alana: I get you. I'm wondering if I should leave too.

Brittany: You can't leave me here!

Alana: Mads is leaving us.

Madison: I really don't want to but, I think it's the right move.

Brittany: I'm gonna miss you kiddo.

Madison: I'm gonna miss you guys too.

Alana: Make sure you don't get too caught up with adulting and forget about us.

Madison: *she smiled* I won't.

*A few months passed and Madison barely kept in contact with her friends. She thought the change in environment would help her forget the torture of high school. To her dismay, Madison couldn't stop thinking about it all. She was a bad friend for entertaining Nathaniel but she surely couldn't stop loving him. As the days went by, Madison contemplated confessing to Alana. She could never bring herself to do it. She went on trying to fit into her "new life" as a means of distracting herself from all that was.*

**END OF CHAPTER**