The Story of Me.

Am I Just Plain Selfish?

I honestly think I am selfish. I want things like a normal person. But I feel like Ariel, who just keeps wanting more.

Or am I a bully just like my parents.

Who knows. I know I am not a bad person, but I know I am not a good person.

But others may disagree about the face, but some people know me as a mean person. I know I have done bad things but I try to make people happy. Just look at what I go through everyday. And moving all on top of it. I don't think anyone would fill in my shoes for me. People say I'm very brave but I don't think so. I just go around everyday walking and acting like a normal person. Nothing else. I don't even want to be as brave as I am. But if I don't, who will?

I don't want to make any promises that I can't keep. I promised Ryan I wouldn't cry this month and I am trying everyday. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I failed at that. I don't want to break anyone, but I failed at that.

I know people may say I'm selfish and I think they're right. Just look at me. The girl who wants everyone to love her. But I don't think I deserve the love I receive, I don't think I do. I think I deserve to be treated the way I am because all I do is hurt people. I don't want to be walking around in an empty shell all my life. But I have to because later I will escape this place and live with Ryan, like he said. 

I know I'm only fourteen, but hey I can dream of the little things. I don't ever think I will. I'll be chained down until someone saves me from myself. But you know what, everything changes over time. Even if you don't think so, it does. 

You have changed from last year. Or from last week. You may not know it. But, then again, you may have. And even if you haven't, you have actually did. You're body changes everyday. Because you eat different day. Right? Or am I just crazy?

I don't think I'm crazy, just different. Like everyone else. People think they are creative for doing different things, and they are. Just do your thing and you'll be alright.