What are our chances?

Change my mind

After spending the whole day in bed feeling sorry for herself, and ignoring calls and texts from Luke, Kat awoke early on Sunday morning. She eagerly sprang into action cleaning the house, taking Sophie for her morning walk, and after getting around the supermarket in record time for the weekly food shop she was now settled in her egg chair in the early afternoon sunshine, with a large cup of tea and the unopened gift that had arrived yesterday afternoon. She placed her cup on the small wooden table next to her and lifted the well-wrapped parcel, placing it gently onto her lap. Carefully peeling back the tape securing it shut she tilted her head slightly with intrigue as she slipped out the small marble-covered book resting inside. After carefully examining the brown leather spine she turned the book and traced her fingers over the gold lettering that sat prominently in the top centre of the book cover, spelling out Pride and Prejudice. As she moved the wrapper a small note fell from the packaging, she flipped it over and the beautifully cursive lettering read.

"Things are never what they originally seem."
- Edna (2019)

She read the note several times over before opening the worn cover and warmly smiling at the sight of the next message left for a previous owner called, Edna by her love Tomas. Kat instantly began dreaming up the epic love story that formed the basis of the declaration whilst she flicked through each of the pages, running her finger down them just as slowly as turned them. Sighing heavily as her moment of peace was rudely interrupted by the thought of Luke kissing her she looked over to Sophie who was watching her from the shaded spot she had found under the old pear tree.

"Don't look at me like that Soph. I didn't ask him to kiss me."

 
Sophie's head tilted to the side like she was listening intently.

"Yeah he's a great guy, nice, funny, cute, lives close by, has a steady job."

Sophie's head tilted to the other side.

"I know, I know." Kat paused. "But he's not him." she sighed heavily and rested back into the cushioned chair.

Sophie's head dropped and rested on the ground in front of her.

"He didn't excite me, make me feel alive again, make my stomach flip just by seeing him."

Sophie closed her eyes and let out a little huff.

"You're right Soph, I've done safe, I played by the rules and societal expectations, and look where that got me. Now I need to try a risk, step out of my comfort zone, and if at nothing else at least I'll feel like I'm living again and not just existing."

Sophie let out a soft snore.

"Thanks, Soph." Kat reached out for her phone and opened Luke's messages.

K - Hey, sorry for not responding. The hangover was bad.

He instantly responded making Kat feel a little nauseous.

L - No problem. Glad you're feeling better.
L - Do wanna get lunch or something today?

Kat felt her stomach churn as she read the message and a slight pang of guilt shuddered through her shoulders, knowing that she was about to let him down.

K - Look Luke, I need to be honest with you, you're a great guy and I don't wanna mess you around but the other night was a mistake. I shouldn't have kissed you back and let you think this would go anywhere. I'm kinda between something at the minute and I need to sort that out.
K - I'm sorry.