MY OBSESSION | P.J.M

35.

Y/n

[My secret]

I eyed the recorder, debating whether if I should touch it or not. I've already kept myself occupied with that divide throughout the entire day. But it felt great to remember everything I've previously forgotten so I tiptoed to the couch where the recorder was. I hesitated for a moment before I turned the music on.

I took a deep breath in and replayed everything. Jimin made many songs for me. For me only. For my ears to hear and listen to his cherry picked words. Like a dancer I started to move around the room. The same way the curtains moved because of the wind, I did the same. I danced closer to the shelves and let my fingers touch the binders back. I picked a photo album up and flipped through the pages. He must have loved me for a long time. I knew I shouldn't smile, but every part of this felt incredibly beautiful. He never gave up on me, that's how much he loved me.

The moments he looked at me. The moment he confessed to me. The moment I was his everything, the way he was my everything. Like a dancer, his love for me was never still.

Jimin's existence was like a stone in my shoe, completely impossible to ignore. I could always remove my shoe and get it out however, I can't muster myself to do so. I painfully enjoy his presence to the fullest.

I spun around and started laughing as I felt myself turn crazy. Who would've thought that I would be happy to be here. I once hated this place, but now I no longer do.

My joy was short lived to my disappointment, because all of a sudden my head began to hurt. And I started to despise him again, how could he go so far for me? He was okay with kidnapping and hurting others for me, that's all too much. He's sick in the head. He has manipulated me to like him now hasn't he? He covered up his sick behavior with the word love so he could trick me into forgiving him.

My head ache doesn't fade away, instead it only grows stronger.

M̶̧̢̡̡̨͚͙̟̭̱͍̲̀̀̔̈͆̊̾̿̿̓̀̃́̕͜͠͠ȳ̵̧̯͍̹̬̫͎̳͎͔̫̺̟̽ ̶̨̧̣̞̟̻͈̯̣̣̹̓́̈́̐̀̇̿̔̽̿̔̋͊̕h̶̨̨̞͖̠̱̤͔̫̗̝͈̣̎̌́̾̄̈́̕ͅeAd!

M̸͉͔͉̝̔ŷ̸̜̄̈́̑ ̴͚̜͉͛̂̾h̷̘͙̹̲͛͊e̴̥͖͛ͅạ̵͠d̴̪͔͍͋̐̄́̕ hUrtS.
.

I grabbed onto my head as the pain started to become unbearable. Was it because of the music? It must be the music. I threw myself on to the recorder to stop it but my headache still remained.

H̷̢̨̨̡̛̺̯̻͙͙̘̝̤͔̪̟̭̪̩̱̳̩̻̼͇̤̰̮̪̪̰̖͇̝͍̬̺̠͙̺͇̘̮̙͙͕͎͍̗̝͎͔̟̒̒͋͊̾̈̓̑͆͘͜