MY OBSESSION | P.J.M

48.

Y/n

[Stranger]

For the first time, I want to turn him into a stranger.

I feel angry and betrayed. How dare he show up right in front of my face, as if I wasn't convinced like an idiot that he was dead?

How dare he exist after all I've been through? And foremost, how did he dare to exist without me? To live a life without me in it?

I want to doubt that he's standing in front of me. I want to pretend that he's just an illusion. I want to punch him for playing with my mind again. He cannot be real, he cannot be standing in front of me if he is dead.

But how can I feel his hands holding mine and why can I see tears in his eyes if he's dead? How can I feel the skin on his face if he is dead?

In between my confusion and anger I decide to punch him, and my hand does not fly through him. No, my hand instead meets his solid body. I convince myself that I didn't punch him hard enough to destroy the illusion. So I keep hitting him until I no longer have the strength to continue. If he truly was a figment of my imagination, I would not be able to touch him. If he was, he would not be able to stop me from hitting him.

He stands there without exchanging any words with me, he grabs my hand to stop me from abusing his shoulder. My anger withers the moment he smiles, all I can care about is that he doesn't disappear again. I cannot continue living as if nothing happened if he runs away again.

I look into his eyes and I can see his thoughts leak into his brown eyes. He doesn't have to say a single word for me to know what he is thinking, but I still want to hear his voice say the words I've been longing for. "I missed you." And I break apart in a way I've never broken before. I want to fall onto the floor and weep my heart out. For such a long period of my life, I've been searching for him and now he is standing right in front of me telling me what I've been desperate to hear.

He doesn't let go of me. If anything, he holds me tighter when he notices that my knees are about to cave in. How can he so easily hold onto me when he has been gone for so long? How is he not breaking apart by simply seeing me? "How could you?" Is all I can mutter. I want to hit him again, but I cannot bring myself to do so when I look at him. He doesn't look a day older than the last time I saw him.

"I'm sorry." His voice is as weak as mine.

I want to hate him for going so long without visiting me. "Why didn't you come to me then? I thought you were dead." Tears are traveling down my cheeks.

Something changes in his face, a hint of surprise washes over him. He hesitates before speaking, "I wanted to." his response is shorter than my questions. I try to find an explanation for his behavior. I search for anything I could grab onto and my mind lands on Taehyung again. I start to think about his whereabouts, I start to question if he also knows that he is alive? Maybe he knows, does that mean that he lied to me? Why would he lie to me?

It's exactly at this moment that something clicks in my head. Maybe Jimin didn't stay away from me by choice, maybe he was forced to? "Does he know? Does he know that you're alive?" I eagerly ask.

"I didn't know that you believed I was dead." He whispers. He looks around as if he is searching for something. He avoids my question.

"Have you seen Taehyung?" He hesitates again.

He furrows his eyebrows in distress. "Did he tell you that I'm dead?" He's practically avoiding my questions so I do the same.

He lifts my head up and repeats his question. I want to keep quiet until he answers my questions first but I lose all control around him. I cannot bring myself to admit it aloud so I nod.

I keep my gaze at him to catch a reaction, he is no longer in distress; he's angry. It is evident from his surprised reaction that he doesn't know the truth either.

Right, my phone. "I'm going to call him." I take my phone out just for Jimin to snatch it out of my hand.

"Don't." He takes it in his own pocket. "Follow me, I think we should see him instead."

I nod and I wait for him to do something. He looks unsure, as if he doesn't know if he's allowed to touch me. He lifts his eyebrows up to ask for permission as he reaches his hand out. I reach out to grab his, and for the first time since I've regained my sanity, I feel loved and wanted.

He leads the way and I follow him. Nothing matters the same way anymore now that he is here right by my side.

I wanted to tell him to screw talking to Taehyung. He has me and I have him. What more could we need? I wanted to suggest that he should run away to somewhere we've never heard of. To go somewhere where no one is, where no one can disturb our peace.

Of course I do not suggest this to him, I know it's not healthy even if I have the desire to live like that with him.

"I can talk to him if you don't want to." He softly tells me and I nod yet again. I don't care if I talk or not, all I want is to be near Jimin.

I have no other desire but having him close.

~D

Next chapter will be up shortly, thank you for reading!