It's not that I'm ashamed I'm sad and hurt that I said that to someone who means the world to me, someone who is like a brother to me someone I would die/take a bullet for. For me to say fuck off to the one person I can talk about anything to or ask anything of. For me to go that far and be mean to the person who knows almost everything about me and vice versa. For me to do that is just horrible and sickening. It makes me feel like a horrible friend. It makes me think that maybe your parents are right and I'm not good for you. You told me things you haven't told others and yet I have the audacity to tell you to fuck off when you were taking time out of your day to try and help me. Even if I'm having the worse day I have no right to say that to you and to make it worse I hurt you. I just don't know if I can forgive myself. You deserve to be better and if my not being a part of your life is why it takes then that's what is going to do. So im so sorry and I love you but I can't see myself being your best friend after what I did🥺
