The past few days have been hard but I've spoke to my therapist about what happend and she gave me a few ideas of how to cope . I've put cameras around my house and put new locks on my doors and drew hasn't left my side hes been good to me and helping.
Tegan ; up
Drew; what why
Tegan: because your going to madelyn to be with the rest of your friends
Drew ; no
Tegan; yes
Drew ; I'm not leaving u
Tegan ; i will be fine
Drew : I'm not leaving u alone i can't
Tegan ; u can and u will drew please be with your friends
Drew ; no
Tegan ; yes i feel a lot safer now i have cameras i have locks and u can also look at the cameras . I need to leave at some point u can't be around all the time
Drew ; i don't feel comfortable leaving u
Tegan; well your going to have to leave eventually and that eventually is today the release of your show is just around the corner. And u and your friends agreed to all be together when to comes out
Drew ; its comes out in a few days
Tegan ; yes but i want u to be with your friends please go be with them
Drew ; come be with us
Tegan : there your friends
Drew ; they are our friends
Tegan ; I'm friends with them because they are your friends
Drew ; rudy is your friend
Tegan ; theres enough of u in one apartment another person is just gonna be an over load
Drew ; i don't want u to be alone
Tegan ; oh for the love of god be with your friends
Drew ; jeez ok I'll be with my friends in a minute let me just wake up
Tegan ; heres your coffee
I hand him his coffee and i get in bed
Drew ; if u feel in danger or u need me call.
Tegan; i won't hesitate to call
I lean over kissing him
Drew : u wouldn't call me if u didn't feel safe would u
Tegan ; u know me to well
Drew ; u frustrate me
Tegan: and u frustrate me aswell but i deal with it because i know your just trying to look after me and be a good boyfriend . I will call if i don't feel safe
Drew ; i don't believe that for a second so I'm gonna call u every few hours and answer ok
Tegan ; ok
Drew : and u tell me the truth of how your feeling ok
Tegan ; ok
He puts his hand on my knee
Drew : and if u need me to come to u tell me and I'll come
Tegan ; jeez what the hell would i do with out u
Drew ; i don't know what would u do without me
Tegan; probably not sleep and go crazy
Drew ; be more crazy then usual
Tegan: oi
I nudge him
Drew ; I'm joking
Tegan: u better be
Drew ; if anything i think I'm the crazy one which i never thought I'd say
Tegan: u can be the crazy one and i can be the...
Drew ; and u can be the crazy one in the bedroom
I let out a little laugh
Tegan ; ok
He leans over and kisses me and he gets out of bed getting dressed and goes into the bathroom and i go on my phone
Tegan ; are u excited for outer banks to be out
Drew : extremely excited but also kinda nervous
Tegan ; nervs are normal
Drew : i know but I'm definitely more excited and just can't wait for it to be out in the world
Tegan ; i can't wait for it be out so i can watch it i want to see actor side of u scarey killee coked up u
Drew : don't hate me once u watched it
Tegan ; i won't hate u its acting i know its not u unless this is all an act
Drew ; u got me rafe Cameron is the real me
Tegan ; ah shit am i gonna have to beg u not to kill me
Drew : no but you'll be begging for something else
Tegan ; oh will i
He nods his head and i move to the edge of the bed and he leans down kissing me and i kiss him back and i grab his arm pulling him down . And his phone start ringing
Drew ; fuck sake
Tegan ; yh thats a sign to say this shouldn't happen right now...answer
Drew ; yes I'm answering
He stands back up and i move further up on the bed going back on my phone
Drew ; ok I'm gonna go now
Tegan ; ok have fun
Drew; come round at some point madelyn said your welcome
Tegan; i will
Drew ; are u sure u don't want to come stay or i can stay one more night
Tegan: goodbye
He kisses me
Drew : bye
Tegan: bye
He walks out my room and i lay down and i scroll throw tik tok for hours trying to distract myself from feeling on edge but it didn't do much but i had to get over this or find a way of dealing because drew isn't going to be around all the time.
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