Bad Boy Playground (h.s)

eleven

my hair

It's been three days since I've seen Harry.

He wasn't even at mass yesterday morning and he always brings his little sister to Sunday mass.

He won't talk to me.

I've always felt like I've been in control of every situation but with Harry I'm never in control. Even when he wants me to think I am, I know I'm not. It drives me up a wall and I don't know how to get him to talk to me again.

I know he's not okay.

He's been locked up in his house for days and won't see anyone. I went out on a limb and asked Louis if he's talked to him but he's said no, said Harry's mom answered the door when he went over and was going to let him in when Harry yelled he didn't want to see anybody.

I've tried to give him space and probably haven't given him enough but I'm worried. I have this need to know how he is all the time even when we're upset with one another, and I know he's upset with me.

He hates me for what I did, but I did it for him.

People will think it's wrong, Harry does, but you could tell me till you're blue in the face that what I did was wrong and I wouldn't believe it. I did what I did for Harry and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe I'm delusional or maybe I'm in shock, I don't know. I do know that I'd do anything for him.

As much as I try to I can't find guilt in what I've done. Maybe that makes me psychotic, that I could bury a body and only worry about the man that supplied him the drugs that killed him, but that's just how I feel.

I care about the schools juvenile criminal delinquent so you can imagine how my heart sped up come Monday when I saw him walking down the school hallways.

We make brief eye contact before he paces past me and walks straight out to the courtyard. He looks terrible. His under eyes are hallow, he looks skinnier and his beautiful long hair is tied back in a bun, his face stoic as always. I can tell he hates me by the empty stare he gave me, me being a reminder of that night.

Never leaving well enough alone I can't stop myself from following him, only to get held up by Leah when she spots me passing by.

"Where have you been?" She questions never giving me room to breath since she's a dog with a bone.

"Been busy." I mumble wanting her out of the way so I can go after Harry.

"You weren't at Mayer's party." She presses pissing me off when she crosses her arms trying to intimidate me.

More students start to fill the hallways as I grow anxious and frustrated having to talk to Leah right now. Why can't she get the picture and leave me alone? Out of the corner of my eye I see Father John and decide that he's my most effective way of getting her off my dick.

"Sorry, I have to talk to Father John about a grade. Talk to ya later." I spit out quickly disappearing into the crowd and trying to push towards the courtyard hoping Harry's still on school property.

My feet scurry to the big metal door and push it open, instantly spotting Harry leaning against the concrete wall smoking a cig and recycling the smoke in through his nose.