Bad Boy Playground (h.s)

nineteen

safety net

"You're so beautiful." My fingers tangle in his curls as I whisper.

Laying next to him in this cramped hospital bed has shown me a new perspective. Him laying on his back with my leg draped over his waist, his eyes soft while I lay soft kisses to his jaw. The taste of his skin made all of this feel real and his five o'clock shadow symbolizes the past two nights he's been in this bed.

Calling my mother at three in the morning wasn't something I wanted to do but I couldn't stand being in that dress any longer. She was at the hospital in less than twenty minutes with a pair of my sweats and my yellow crocs.

The doctors told us that Harry needed to rest so I ended up falling asleep in the waiting room. My mom sat with me until eight yesterday morning, letting me rest my head on her shoulder.

I might not always get along with my mom, which is a given because I'm a teenager and all, I'm mature enough to know that; but I've never been afraid to call my mom when I'm in trouble. I know she'll love me no matter what happens and it's not a bad thing to admit that you need help sometimes. The only thing you have in life is family, no one loves you like your mom and dad, brother and sister. The only people that will forever be by your side and love you unconditionally is family.

I know I've been blessed with the family God has given me and I'm so very thankful for everything that they've done for me.

Sometimes it's hard to see, especially when you might not agree with your mom or dad, but every decision and action they make is for your best interest and because they love you.

It took me a minute to learn that because I am stubborn as hell, but I know how much they love me and only want what's best.

So it didn't surprise me having my mom spend the night in the hospital waiting room. I explained as best I could with my emotions all over the place what happened, leaving out Harry being a drug dealer of course. I felt bad for not telling her but she wouldn't let me see him again if she knew. I wouldn't blame her for that decision either. She wants to protect me the best she can and me not telling her about the boy I'm involved with is my way of protecting her from worry and anxiety.

With me calling her so early in the morning I already know she's gonna be skeptical of my spending time with Harry. I understand that, I mean I'm going to keep being with him because he's my Dimple, but I know my mom has a point in wanting to keep me at a distance from him. He's involved in some shady shit and if I had a daughter I sure as hell wouldn't want her involved with a guy like that.

Harry is the most amazing man, he really is, and his heart is so huge but it is dangerous being with him.

The question is, is he worth it?

"You're the beautiful one, in so many ways." His voice always seems to bring me back down from my thoughts.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

There's so many things I want to say to him that I just can't sum up into words. So with our faces inches apart I show him the form of love he understands.

His lips are still chapped from the lack of blood but he tastes the same, his hands feel the same as they tighten around my waist, pulling me fully onto his lap.

I never thought I'd be in a hospital bed straddling a patient, but here I am with my fingers tangled in his hair, his hands drifting down to my ass, and our salvia mixing as his tongue runs over my lower lip.

This is the first privacy we've gotten since his surgery. His mother and sister have been by his side every hour of the day and even my mom stopped in before she left to wish him well.