ᴀɴᴛɪ-ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴛɪᴄ💕 | sᴇᴜɴɢsᴜɴɢ

24.dEEZNUTS HA GOTTEM

TW⚠️: Panic Attack, mention of verbal abuse.

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Jeong-In sat in his and Chan's shared apartment, on the couch in silence. His feet were tucked into his chest and he was blankly staring at his black socks. He looked calm on the outside. Like a man sitting down just taking a break, if only that were the case.

A million and one thoughts raced through his head per second. All revolving around Chan.

-𝕁𝕖𝕠𝕟𝕘-𝕚𝕟𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤-

This is all my fault. I knew, I just knew this day would come. The day he finally got tired of me. The day he finally realized how much of a waste of time I've been. The day he finally realizes, he's better off without me. Why didn't I just listen to Kitan when he said know one could love me. I should've just stayed out of his life like he told me too. I should've just left.

-𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤-

Jeong-Ins body shook as all the negative thought consumed him. Memories of his toxic ex, Wang Kitan, came back to him. A choked out sob escaped his lips as he hugged his knees and buried his face into his hands. Tears escaped his red eyes once again, his body shook vigorously as he sobbed continuously.
The sobbing got louder and louder until he finally realized he was slipping into a panic attack. His breathing fastened and he started hyperventilating. His sweat ran cold as he got chills, his heart races and his sobbing got even harder.

His mind went fuzzy and his chest and stomach started hurting. He couldn't think straight. He had severe anxiety ever since he was 9 and it was hard to deal with. Eventually when he met Chan, the older was his outlet. He always knew how to calm him down before the attacks even started. He didn't want to bother Chan but he knew if he didn't call him Chan would be been more furious than he was right now.

Jeong-In grabbed his phone and dialed chan's contact. Breath quickening once he heard the ringing on the other side.

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"Jeong-In why are you still up"

"PANIC"

"INNIE? INNIE ARE YOU OKAY BABY WHY DO YOU SOUND OUT OF BREATH"

" a- attack. Chris I can't breathe."

"OH SHIT! JEONG-IN IM ON MY WAY HOME RIGHT NOW JUST STAY ON THE PHONE OKAY? FOCUS ON MY BREATHING. JUST FOLLOWING MY BREATHING PATTERNS OKAY."

"Channie it hurts I can't breathe my chest hurts, it hurts really bad"

"Listen Jeong, I love you okay so please just try for me"

"O-okay"

"Alright inhale and exhale."

Jeong-In did as Chan told him slowly breathing in. Taking deep breaths.

"Baby I'm in the elevator on the way up to the apartment just keep taking deep breaths okay"

"Okay"

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Jeong-In heard the phone beep signalling that Chan had hung up. He kept taking deep breaths but it seemed like it wasn't working. He heard the jingling of keys and curse words escape Chan's mouth on the other side of the door. Once it swung open, Jeongin saw Chan step in dropping everything and running straight towards him. He engulfed the younger into a bone crushing hug while running his fingers through the brunettes hair. Jeong-In desperately clung onto the elders  "It's okay, I'm here just relax okay, focus on me. What's your favorite color? Favorite singer? Favorite movie? What's your favorite ice-cream?" Chan, obviously, knew the answers to all those questions, he was just trying to get Jeongin to calm down and focus on something that wasn't his attack. This attack was different from the rest. This one lasted longer, it was worse than his others. It almost sent him into a seizure.