Erin’s POV
Alan’s house was the last stop on dropping everyone off. I was nervous to see his house and his cats. What if I didn’t like it here in California? What if I miss Maryland too much? Or worse what if Alan gets tired of me? Then where will I go? So many what ifs I just wanted to keep myself from thinking. Alan and I were sitting on the couch in the front lounge. I was bouncing my leg in anticipation, I was freaking out.
“Are you okay?” Alan asked and I whipped my head around to look at him with a questioning look on my face. “You look worried and anxious. Why?” He asked putting his hand on my knee making me shiver involuntarily, wiping the worry off my face and he smiled.
“I’m fine it’s just… The ‘what if’s’ ya know?” I looked down at the ground and he lifted my chin up with his finger so I would look at him.
“I’m not going to get tired of you Erin. And I’m certainly not going to abandon this child. And you, you are going to love it here in California and you are going to wonder why you never visited this state in the first place. I want you to have a fun time but you can’t really do that if you’re stressing can you?” He smiled at me and put his forehead to mine. “Stop worrying, you’ll love it.” He said and then pressed his lips on mine. After a moment he pulled away with a smile. “We’re here.” He said and got up pulling me up with him.
I stepped off the bus and looked around the house. It was big. Way bigger than mine and Elise’s old townhouse. Alan looked at me with a smile and with my hand still in his he pulled me towards the door. I stumbled a little trying to keep up with his long strides. We walked into the foyer of the house and it smelled like Alan which was nice. It smelled sweet like him and I smiled.
Alan showed me the entire house. It was so big I almost got tired just walking through it all. The basement was a mess but I didn’t mind because the rest of the house was clean for the most part. After we got through the entire house we got our bags out of the bus and brought them up to the bedroom. I put them down and I flopped down onto the bed looking up at the ceiling. I was about to lift my head to tell Alan something when something jumped onto my stomach.
“What the fuck?!” I screamed.
“Meow.” The cat on my stomach replied. I saw what I assumed was Mittens standing on my stomach watching me and I let out a relieved sigh.
“What?” Alan said walking out of the bathroom. He let out a small laugh when he saw Mittens on my stomach. “Mittens give you a scare?” He asked and laughed again coming over to sit next to us. I picked up the cat and set him down next to me on the bed while sitting up myself. “So do you like the house?” He asked looking up at me through his eyelashes.
“It’s wonderful.” I smiled at him. There was so much space I didn’t even know what to do with it all. MJ would get lost all she’s known is a small cage and a tour bus. How was she going to navigate her way through this huge house? He smiled at my reply and laid down on the bed looking up at the ceiling and I mimicked him. He rolled over onto his side and looked at me. I turned my head to meet his gaze and he reached his arm out and held his hand on my stomach.
“What do you think it’s going to be like to be a parent?” He asked a little shakily. I frowned.
“I don’t know. But I’m scared.” I said and looked up at the ceiling again. I was hoping that gravity would keep the tears from falling from my eyes.
“Me too.” Alan whispered still watching my face. My eyes were glazed over with glassy tears I could feel them stinging my eyes. I was sure Alan could see them too. He scooted closer to me snuggling into my side and shushed me. “We can do this though. I know we can. That baby is going to have two awesome parents and two awesome Godparents to look after it.” He was talking about Elise and Austin. “I won’t ever leave Erin. That child needs me and I want to be there for it. No matter what sacrifices I have to make I will do it for you and this baby. Okay? I love you Erin. I really do.” I looked at him and as I turned my head towards him a tear fell out of my eye and hit the sheets of the bed. He smiled a sympathetic smile and kissed my forehead. Alan was right. We can do this.
