wake up soon - k. akaashi

fourteen: the world through a window

2012, February 26th

He'd written her a letter.

It had almost been a week since the first time Akaashi had visited and so far he'd kept his promise of coming every single day he could. Not that Tamiko ever doubted him. He was a man of his word.

Today, he'd come with a letter, and the poor girl had almost started crying two words into it. The familiar nickname he used, always spoken with so much care and adoration, she wished she could show him how she still smiled at the sound of it.

After that, hearing how his life was still a mess and how the world outside of her god forsaken room she couldn't get out of carried on with her friends and family in pieces, almost left her like that. Tamiko choked a chuckle when he started going on about how he missed her late night calls.

"I told you my subjects were interesting," she teased, sitting in front of him now and smiling at his words.

When he finished his letter, Tamiko was having a hard time battling the tears. But Akaashi was being strong, so she'd be strong too.

"I'll wake up, promise. I still have so many random thoughts to tell you."

2012, March 1st

Bokuto's cheers woke her up from her nap, but Tamiko was soon as excited as the tall boy.

"This calls for a party!" she jumped next to him, even if he didn't actually know she was joining him. Her eyes zeroed on her blushing boyfriend, who was being teased by their friends.

"It said "The pretty setter #5 is our sister's boyfriend, and he's gonna kick your butts"," he said, blush coating his cheeks as he rolled his eyes at his teammates.

A laugh bubbled from the back of her throat, hardly believing that her siblings plan had actually been carried on. She remembered when they'd visited her with a serious expression, telling her they were ready to carry out her mission for her. They'd even showed her their dark blue banner, and said they'd buy one of those golden silver and white markers to decorate.

Like her friends. Tamiko admired their work even after they left, big smile on her face and her heart soaring with the feeling of luck. She really had amazing friends.

2012, March 14th

Tamiko sat crisscross on the floor like a little kid listening to their teacher telling a story as Akaashi talked. Keiji was summing up the last few days he hadn't been able to come and what had happened. Including, the gossip. Which Kaori and Yukie had her up to date on, but it was always fun to know her boyfriend's point of view.

Keiji went on about how embarrassing it was to see his fellow teammate trying to talk to his crush, explaining how other teased the poor boy. It made Tamiko reminisce the times when they were like that.

"We were pathetic too, Kei. It was awful," she chuckled softly.

"Maybe we were," he mused, as if he'd heard her.

It made her chuckles turn into uncontrollable giggles.

2012, April 1st

"Listen to me," she croaked, kneeling down in front of him "It wasn't your fault. Okay? It wasn't. I-I called you two months ago, a-and the drunk driver," she took a shaky breath in "He was the one that did this."

But of course, he didn't stop crying. He couldn't hear her. He couldn't see her. And Tamiko felt like punching a hole through the wall of her prison. Taking care of the people she loved shouldn't feel so frustrating.

But maybe it wasn't the taking care part. Maybe it was the fact that she couldn't do anything.

She was confined to watch the world through her personal window, without the means to interact with it. And it was starting to really anger her.

2012, April 9th

Just like with the letter, Tamiko tried to fight the tears as Keiji read through the pages. But this time, she wasn't able to.

The albino was a bawling mess on the corner of her room. Because that book had a meaning. It was their book, their love story. It was like a physical proof of their love for each other. And now, she couldn't even let him know she heard and listened to his voice.

She couldn't tell him how much she loved him. "I love you too"s came out of her mouth in almost crazed whispers, desperate to break that window that left everything she said inside her spectrum. Her promises were unheard once again, but she couldn't bring herself to give up.

"Please just let him hear this," she hiccupped, words barely coherent at this point "I love him... Come on!" Tamiko didn't mean to lose it.

She really didn't. But all this time, watching everyone come and go, their smiles never really reaching their eyes, something that was there before now wasn't lighten. It was harder than she could've ever imagined. The movies didn't portray how it could fuck with you.

So much in fact, that when she finally got a physical reaction from her body, it was a seizure.

2012, April 20th

"I never thought we'd celebrate like this," he muttered.

"That makes two of us," she muttered back.

She eyed the bouquet, her lips curling upwards slightly.

"Happy anniversary," they said together.

Cold, lonely anniversary.

2012, June 17th

Kuroo and Kenma weren't visitors Tamiko had expected. But that didn't mean she wasn't happy to see them. Her hands pressed against the glass.

This new room of hers was making her like a freaking fish in an aquarium. But she couldn't do anything, only trust that these intense cares would make her condition better. It hurt.

The familiar sight of Bokuto sat on the floor made her press her hands harder. Her friends needed her, but she'd learnt that she couldn't do anything but watch.

Dejected, Tamiko sank to the floor too.

2012, July 30th

Back in her first room, Tamiko felt much better.

"You can tell Bokuto I'll be there. First row and cheering for him and his diploma," she nodded firmly.

She'd be there, she told herself. She would.

"Remember when we talked about our futures?"

"Ah yes, our coffee shop au. That dream will be made a reality, I'm telling you."

She placed her chin on her forearms, dipping her head to the side and smiling confidently as she listened to the other things he had to say. After he left, the thought of her future coffee shop returned, and she closed her eyes trying to picture it.

A yawn escaped her lips, and sleep slowly took her away.

The only sound that she heard was the heart beat machine thingy. It was steady when she succumbed to the slumber.