A Court of Lichen and Twilight / An ACOTAR Fanfiction

Chapter Five: The Gateway

Moments after we retreated to our room and I had come back to earth from my reality swap, he had undressed me. I reluctantly obeyed his touches when we showered together. It could be our last one for a while if we got stuck between courts or a flaw occurred in the plan. I couldn't think like that for fear of another dissociative panic attack.

I couldn't bare to stand another glimpse at The High Lord of the Spring Court if I slipped into another daydream again.

Fresh bruises covered my body where he was rough with me like usual. It was the only way he seemed to find pleasure; for fear of starting yet another spat, I endured. It was easier. I couldn't take another stress right now. Yellow spots of remnant sessions still dotted my olive skin. A bright purple splotch was noticeable on my neck and just above my collar bone.

He said he liked to leave them on me so he thought about each time when he saw me. He also loved to mark that I was his. However, I felt it was because he was too insecure and a stronger female like myself was in turn too intimidating for him to not flaw. I couldn't ever tell him that or risk crippling his ego. I couldn't believe this is the guy I was "mates" with. I looked to my ring in disgust again.

"Maybe I should take it off," I said, fumbling for the it on my finger. "It's safer here than if I'd loose it while we winnowed."

"No," Silas rumbled. A bedside table shook when he growled it. The closer time got towards our dusk departure, the more enclosed he became. From the newly mated, aggressive male yesterday calling me insane for suggesting opening the wards, to his mother's confessional, to now offering himself so I didn't go alone, I couldn't imagine what he felt like. I did feel for him and tried to set a comforting hand on him. His muscle of his arm bristled at my touch.

"Silas."

"What, Clea?"

There was a pause. Then, he simply exploded.

"You think I didn't hear that nonsense when we left the study that Cyra spewed in your ear? I knew what happened at the Spring Court with you and that High Lord. I knew I was mated to you and you denied me for how long because between that male and the other one you were fucking in Velaris, I wasn't apparently good enough for you to acknowledge. I wasn't a battle commander or a High Lord: just the lowly help's son. It wasn't until I was your only option and chance on this speck of an island that you finally looked at me differently when I told you about what I felt. Your time ran out and I was now your only way of getting what you wanted in the end, so you settled."

"And what is that?" I fired back. My lightning bit into my hands and toes as I ground them into the carpet area rug that framed our bed. I wish I had those gloves my father gave me. I was even pondering if they'd help me at this point. But still, I stood loaded without firing.

"You claim that you don't want to end up like her and that your life isn't all about it, but it is, Clea. You want a child so bad deep down in you. I see the way you turn green with envy over Cyra. When you realized after fifty years the wards were still up and you wouldn't have a chance to go back to them, you finally chose me. But it's too much of a shame it has to be half of the help's child instead of someone's with a title, so you wash it down every time with a tonic from Nila," he sneered. "I see the empty bottles in her return stack in her office."

"You were my friend first, Silas," I argued back, calmly and not faltering in my tone. No crass in it was detectable. "I'm not denying one day I want one but...get a grip. Your mood sways are out of control! I couldn't risk losing that connection with you if it didn't work out. The bond hasn't settled for me yet. I'm not even ready for a child yet under these conditions - cauldron! We just mated!"