Lost girl

A peacful aroma

Turning back, you see his bold and beautiful structured figure stroll off into the foggy distance. You get a feeling deep in your stomach that doesn't want him to leave, your head says otherwise and that you are glad he has left you both in peace.

As you turn the corner, you walk down a trail trekked many times before and come out by a wheat field with a clearing for you to go through. A little further into the beautiful field, you smelled a sweet aroma that filled your lungs with purity and relaxation, you close your eyes and feel the world spin before you open once again and see Peter before you.

His face lights up with happiness as he sees you arrive, "you made it!" He exclaims.

Tiger Lily goes to speak but you wanted to put your word in first as you had been so desperate to all morning, "we wouldn't miss it for the world! After all, we are so close these days. I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour, my parents did not raise me to be that way," you decide to be brave as Tiger Lily doesn't know what you mean and Peter won't question it in front of her, "I do admit, yes, I was maybe a little jealous and didn't want to hear what you had to say. It was silly and ridiculous the fact that I acted that way. My thoughts and feelings were muddled and I am sorry, but that's behind us, so maybe a fresh start?"

Once you finish your self confidence boosting mini speech, you sit as he stares at you puzzled and not sure what to say.

"I don't know what you guys are talking about but honestly I'm hungry." Tiger Lily breaks the silence after waiting patiently and starts to dig in, rummaging through the nicely packed, wood entwined, silk lined picnic basket.

You and Peter made eye contact once through the rest of your time there, gazing into what looked like nothing by felt like a lifetime of emotions and confusion, after that, you didn't even look at him because you both just knew the conversation that followed this sunny, pink sky day.

With afternoon flying by, the clouds soon swept from a blush pink, to a honey orange, welcoming dusk and later on, evening times.

~

"Goodbye!"
Just like earlier you watch the figure fade into this the distance. Getting that same feeling, but not as deep or meaningful as it was when Elijah left.

Starting walking back, you and Peter stay in the most awkward silence you have ever experienced. It was so awful, you begin to regret everything you said earlier about being jealous and feeling muddled and hearing what he had to say until you remember the pact you made to your mother when you were 8 which was 5 years ago...

She holds your arms by your side, before kneeling down to meet your gaze with a tear in her eye, "I want you to promise me something Amber," she pauses and sobs, "never have any regrets in your life ok, no regrets," she says nothing more. You know everything in this moment is wrong except what she had just told you, "no regrets." You make your promise as she walks out the door in floods of tears now, leaving you all alone.

...no regrets, you tell yourself and decide to make things right before you miss your chance.

"So... about earlier,"
He stops.
You copy.
"You said you were jealous of Tiger Lily,"
"Yes I was. I was scared of losing what we had so that you could have something with her," you justify yourself and explain further.
"You said you had feelings for me," he carries on investigating you.
"I said my feelings were muddled," you try to justify further but it's no use.
"Why are you making excuses?"
"Im not."
"Its clear that you are and you know what else is clear? The fact you like me. The fact your jealous of my feelings towards Tiger Lily. Well guess what? Those feelings are friendship, I'm not in love with her! Im 13! And so are you! Anything we feel isn't love. It's just a childhood crush or someone you mess around with. If you like me just say so."

Speechless, you stare at him as he waits your answer. Not being able to say anything, he notices and confesses your feeling you never wanted to come to the realisation of.

Cupping his hands around your face, pulling you in, gently pressing his lips against yours while taking hold of your hands, a swirling sensation floats through you as you kiss him back sending shivers down your spine. You tilt your head to adjust with his as he kisses you again he let's go of your hands to cup your face again. You run your hands through his hair before pulling away and looking directly into his eyes.

"Does that help, m'lady?" He pleads innocently,
"No."
"Are you serious? After all that you still don't know! Stop playing with my feelings, it actually hurts." He walks away confused after what had just taken place.

"You expect me to what exactly when you go on about how, it's not love? It's just messing? It's not real?"

"Of course it isn't real, Amber we are just kids, I like you but I want it to be real, I don't know if it's real when we are this young,"
"So you just expect me to wait for you?!"
"I would wait for you."
"What makes you so sure it's not real now but will be in years to come?"
"We will never grow up here Amber!"
"Then it will never change!"
"I know!"
"But then- why would you, why would you.."
"I had to find out."
"So... your telling me, you don't believe in young love?"
"No."
"Why not? Actually I know why, your afraid it's going to end in heartbreak, and you can deal with it a lot better when you older instead of younger. You do think it's real, you think it's real at any age but so is heartbreak and for you, the heartbreak overshadows the love."
"Hit the nail on the head."

"I can promise you, no matter what age, it's going to hurt just as equally but that doesn't matter because I will not hurt you, I promise to stay with you when times are at the worst and I will never let you go."
"I'm sorry Amber." He looks down in shame.

"You are breaking my heart right now," you whisper with pain flooding through you and tears building in your eyes.
"I know. And I can't tell you how sorry I am,"

You push past him and run as the tears come streaming down your face. You ignore him when he calls after you, you don't stop at anything. You keep running, running from him, running from your emotions, running from heartache and heartbreak as the peaceful aroma fills your lungs maybe for the last time...