Kook King

Begin Again

I'm buzzing with anxiety a week and a half later, but it's not because school is in less than a week. Tonight, it's for a different reason. JJ is coming over to eat dinner with me and my parents. As my boyfriend. Officially.

It's strange. I thought I would feel like this is going too fast, but so far it's only felt right. JJ doesn't seem to mind that we're taking our time. Going from friends to more than friends isn't easy, and neither of us want to ruin what we had. Of course, the kissing makes up for it, and we do a lot of that. Hopefully, before JJ leaves tonight, we'll be able to get some time alone.

When JJ shows up, he's dressed in a striped, button-up shirt and shorts. I can tell that he spent time brushing his hair because instead of its usual shagginess, it's neat and slicked to the side. When he sees me in my front doorway, he breaks into a smile-- a smile that warms me.

"Hey," he says, holding out a bouquet of flowers.

"Hi." I kiss him on the lips then take the flowers. "Are these for me?"

"Yeah." His hand slides onto the small of my back.

I kiss him again. "Thank you. They're beautiful."

JJ gestures to the small garden in the front yard. "I see you still have the Poguelandia flag. I thought that thing would have blown away in some rain storm by now."

"Nope. Still there, strong as ever," I chirp.

"Like us Pogues, right?"

I nod. "Right."

We ate not too long after JJ showed up. He shook my father's hand and gave my mom a hug, who also thought the flowers were beautiful. She quickly grabs a glass vase from the top of a cabinet in the kitchen and fills it with water. While we gather around the dining table, we all admire them sitting at the end.

JJ sits beside me, grabbing my hand under the table while my parents ask him all about his thoughts on working at the Country Club and his motorcycle and the school year that's coming up. He's talkative and friendly. He makes my parents laugh on two separate occasions. And I couldn't help but think that this-- this-- is how it is supposed to be. My parents are supposed to like the guy I'm dating. I'm supposed to be able to bring him home. He's supposed to be gentle and sweet, not just with me, but with everyone around him, and yes, JJ is known for having a temper, but at least he fights with his head screwed on straight.

The only real reminder I have left of Rafe Cameron is my Rolling Stones poster tacked to my bedroom wall, but it's not like he gave it to me. It's been my favorite band since forever, and not even he can ruin that.

After dinner and dessert, that my mother so thoughtfully made for JJ's visit, JJ and I sneak up to my room where I nudge the door shut. We can still hear my parents talking to each other as they wash the dishes in the kitchen. I sit on my bed as JJ smiles. I reach out, grab his hand, and pull him in between my legs. "What?" I ask him.

He shakes his head, looking around my room. "I never thought... this would happen." He looks back down at me. "That you and I..."

"I know," I say. But I don't wanna think about before or anything else that happened this summer. Now that JJ and I are together and there's no craziness, I want to enjoy it. It feels like the calm after the storm, once the rain lets up and the wind stops howling. The clouds break apart and light finally breaks through. I pull JJ's face down and kiss him. We make out on my bed, his hands moving up and down my body but never pushing to go farther. It's innocent and sweet and different, and I want to stay like this forever.