02 - video concerns

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by gigiistaken

by gigiistaken

tw: self harm, panic attack, depression,passing out, blood, cursing

my dad put screen time in my phone :|
enjoy <3
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*beep beep beep be-*
i turned off my alarm and sat up getting dizzy again. I knew it was from the lack of food but i don't care. I sat there sitting up in my bed staring out the window that let in little light.

i checked the time, 12:56pm 'fuck fuck fuck i have George's video in like 4 minutes' i thought while rushing out of bed and unlocking my monitors, opening Minecraft and opening discord and George's stream. Once I pulled those all up, I was 3 minutes late. whoops.

I joined the discord call with George and Sapnap in it.

*Dream joined discord call*

"hey sorry i'm late, i was eating lunch and lost track of time." obviously that was a lie but at least they thought I was eating something, along with stream.
"it's okay, don't worry about it!" George said. That made me feel even more guilty.
"i'm sorry.." i said i meant it.
"Dream I told you it's okay!" George exclaimed. Still felt guilty.

time skip to the middle of stream—

I was under the ground hiding from George during the speedrunner vs hunter. I was the soeedrunner this round and George was the hunter. I checked to see what chat has to say so I looked and saw something I definitely agreed with the hate.

chat:
joshh15kid: George needs to go against someone better.
talya0693: i hope George kills dream irl or in game idc
hateondream: Dream is overrated he can die.
clowndsmpL: ^^
baby9392: ily George! not dream though.
trisha111111: why is dream the most famous one it should be George..
bavkbald: if dream looses he's even more of a disappointment

(the was just some hate that dream read throughout the stream.)

As dream let those words sync in, George is trying to get his attention.
"Dream? Are you okay?" George asked in a super serious and concerned tone.
I didn't answer. I was on mute, why? Because reading too much hate made me cry which lead to a panic attack and overthinking.
My breaths were shorting as it was like i can't breathe. Which was exactly what was happening. I could barely breathe, I was panicking gasping for air for my life, tears were streaming down my face as I listened for what my thoughts had to say totally forgetting about George's stream.
'everyone is right. you are a mistake.'
'no one can love you if you look like this.'
'i am overrated and dumb.'
'loser.'
'just let these be your final breaths.'
'die. that's what everyone wants.'

i was looking around my room as it started to turn black and things were spinning, just like that i hot the floor with a thud and everything went blank.

George's POV
time: 2:14pm | location: George's bedroom

"Dream?" I asked with concern and a very worried tone. that's cause I was. I was worried as hell.
'why isn't he responding to me?' i thought to myself.
"Chat, do you know what happened to Dream? He isn't responding to my texts or on stream." I asked hoping they'd know something.

chat:
bellabulldoggie6293: where's dream??
katrinagurl07: no, i haven't heard from dream
clowndsmpL: haven't heard. hope he's dead
bumblebee839294: dream?
pogchampgogy: hi George!
baby3849: DREAM?!
yasmine490: i'm getting worried.. it's been like 10 minutes.
dreams_big_toe: dweam? where'd you go? 😨

guess chat doesn't know either. what could've happened? Is he okay?
As all these thoughts took over I heard a familiar voice as my face lit up. Dream! but my smile quickly faded into a worried face hearing his condition. Was he crying?

"Dream!" i said shocked and excited.
"Yeah?" Is all he answered. Is he trying to m
act like nothing happened just now or for the past 10 minutes of trying to get his attention?
"Where were you?" I asked with a very worrisome tone.
No answer. Again.

Dream POV
time: 2:23pm | location: dream's room

'fuck fuck fuck what can I say to that?! i took a shit? i threw up? i got distracted? yeah i'll say I got distracted by.. i was looking around my room seeing what i could've gotten distracted by. I looked down on my bed and saw my phone. that's it i can say my mom called me!'

"Oh sorry my mom was calling me." I said, trying to hold back my tears.
"Are you okay? you sound like you're crying." George said, clearly concerned. Great, that's not what I want to happen.
"Yeah yeah i- i'm fine." I said stuttering. Fuck.
"Hey guys I think i'm gonna end the stream here. Thank you for all the dono's. Love you bye!" Was the last thing George said before ending his stream.
"Why'd you do that?" i said confused.
"Okay now tell me, are you really okay?" George said.
"Yup. Now stop worrying over nothing."
"Nothing? You didn't say anything for the part 10 minutes!" George said slightly raising his voice, clearly upset
"i'm s- sorry." I said trying to stop the tears from falling.
"No in sorry for raising my voice." George said apologizing.
"It's fine. But i have to go now." I said sounding very eager for something.
"Okay, bye." George with an emotion I couldn't quite hear what emotion
"Bye." I said as I left the call.

I quickly got up from my gaming chair and taking of my headphones. I got up to the bathroom i felt dizzy for standing up too quickly but i didn't care. I got my blade with blood and made cuts into my arms. 14 each arm

I felt dizzy as the blood was rushing out of my arms and before I knew it the world went black and I fell on the floor with a loud thud. This is exactly what I wanted, on the floor passed out, and cuts into my arms. I deserve the pain.
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994 words, sorry for shorter chapter.

i'm currently in the car writing this so yuh