Of Waves and War

2: tell the old story for our modern times

Penelope

"You're the most perfect thing in the world," Eulises, pulling a sheet over our heads as he stared at me. Black eyes shining with the light of the dawn as he pressed his face against my cheek. "I love you more madly every minute."

"I wish you were here," I whisper, reaching out to touch him even as I know I'm waking.

My bed is cold. The light coming in the windows is grey, not warm. And I am alone.

I sit up, rubbing my arms, squeezing my eyes shut to avoid looking at the side of the bed he should be in. Grinning like an idiot at the sight of me. Tugging the edge of my nightgown down so he could kiss my shoulder, fingers tracing a mole on it, then moving up to kiss my cheek again.

"Perfect," his voice is airless and more enchanted than it ever was. I want to hear it so badly I conjure it in my head only for the words to soften into distant memory.

Nobody ever called me beautiful in my life. Not before him. I was pretty enough. I could be pretty if I tried hard enough (I didn't try). But him? Ebony eyes spotting me out of a crowd. Eyes only for me, not my sisters who are far prettier than I. Me.

We met at my sister's engagement party. She didn't really want to be engaged but there it was. It was better than being unmarried.  So our father asked dozens of handsome, young, available men around to ask for her hand. Of course they all wanted her. And of course I was to stay out of the way. Not particularly hard. I was her junior by a few years. And I was the homely one. The one who would be lucky to get a man eventually. But nobody came looking at me.

I was glad of that. I found them all boring. Their stupid laughs, their stupid attempts to flirt with me. I didn't even like it if it did happen.

So on the night of the party I was to mingle and be out of the way.

"We'll find you a properly handsome man yet, don't you want one?" Helen asked me, fixing my hair which was too tight to look pretty. It was just out of my way.

"Not especially, no, they're all stupid," I said.

"Still better to have one leering than a dozen," she says, shrugging. She was right of course, they all leered at her.

"Father will find you a nice one," I said, simply. We wanted to believe that.

She was the bell of the ball of course. I didn't want to talk to people so I shifted on the outside of the crowd, looking at the other girls' dresses and trying to memorize the latest patterns and fashions.

The tables were laden with food, including a particular chocolate treat that I liked. I sneaked as many as I could into my pockets, planning to leave the party as soon as I had obtained the food I required. I was in no mood to dance and I didn't anticipate anybody asking me to dance.

"Father, they don't have any chocolate on the tables you should really tell the caterer," I complained, no less than twenty of the chocolates hidden in the folds of my dress which I designed for that purpose.

"Don't they? Gods, these people, thank you for keeping an eye out," he sighed, going to chastise somebody. In retrospect, I do not know why he believed a word I said.

I spun around to go off to hide and eat my spoils. And when I turned there he was. Right behind me. Black curls nearly hanging in his eyes, slick dark eyes brimming with a light I could not name. The smallest of smiles played on his lips. He was wearing a slightly too large purple coat, that was just hanging off of his lean shoulders. He held out a hand, in it one of the chocolates I'd been stealing, laying there delicately on long fingers that were lined with callouses.

"Were you look for this?" he asked, barely keeping the smile from his voice.

"No, what is it?" I asked.

"A cake, I hear they're quite good," he said, barely suppressing a smile then.

"I'll take your word for it," I said, pocketing it with the others.

"You don't have to," he said, really smiling then, "Eulises." He said his name like it was his favorite secret, having no idea it would become mine. He let the syllables slip off his tongue with pleasure at each sound, knowing himself already to be a prince among men.

"Penelope, Helen's sister," I said, by way of explanation, "I suppose you've come to seek her hand?" of course he had. He was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen, I thought. She would probably want him. Who wouldn't?

"I've come because my father said I ought to because my hounds and my hunting is not enough occupation for a young man, it would seem," he said, shrugging a bit. "I was going to go soon. I hate throngs of people."

"So do I," I said, almost smiling.

"Well, there aren't throngs of people outside. Do you fancy a walk?" he asked, offering me his hand.

"Me?" I asked, still surprised he was talking to me.

"I don't see any other pretty girls standing before me with their dress packed with stolen chocolates," he said, eyes gleaming.

"I'm denying that."

"I expect nothing less."

I close my eyes, savoring the memory. So young and so full of hope. That night could have lasted forever. It should have lasted forever.

I go to the window, looking out into the dawn, "You said it would be forever." I kiss my fingers and gently blow a kiss the morning sky, "Sweet Aphrodite give my love my kiss for me. I cannot deliver it myself."

"You said it would be forever. You also told me you were a shameless liar," I say, quietly, looking at my fingers, a cut on one of them from a needle.  I sigh, deeply. The world is waking. Even if  only see him now in my dreams. That's enough.

I can hear the faint dull notes of the lonely piano. Our son has woken as well. He'll complete his dawn serenade then I shall have breakfast with him. For now I go back to my loom. It's not much work, but it's something. It gives me hope and that's worth more than any jewel to me.

"Come back to me," I say, quietly, looking at his ring on my finger, "Please?"

I know he can't hear me. But I still speak to him as I did when he was here. I don't want to talk to anyone else, anyway. So I'll talk to my memory of him.