The Queen of the Waves

20: Nothing Suitable

After Bas brought Mara her breakfast, one he was convinced she wouldn't even look at let alone eat, he headed over to the main deck of the ship... well his ship.

Today was Bayen's funeral and every step felt heavy on his heart. After everything he had done in his life, he never expected to be walking to say goodbye to his captain.

The crew was silent around their captain's coffin, there caps in their hands, sorrow on their eyes.

Bas stepped forwards slowly, opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again. There was too much telling him something was wrong for him to begin the ceremony.

He shook his head and stepped back, leaving the men to their private goodbyes, and then headed back to Mara's cabin.

Pausing outside the door, he heard her quite sobbing and the guilt washed over him; he knew not how to help her.

He rapped his knuckles on the wood and heard Mara's shaky inhale of breath. After a few moments he pushed open the door and found Mara sitting on the edge of the bed, her pale feet hanging above the ground and her dark hair hanging before her face.

She slowly looked up at him, her eyes shot with blood and tears but she gifted him with a fragile smile.

"Mara, I uh... well..." Bas stumbled over his words, there was no easy way to tell Mara this.

"Bayen's funeral is today, I came to see if you felt up to it."

"Up to it?" Mara's voice wavered as she stepped down from the bed and walked towards the nervously shifting Bas.

"Bas, I'll never be up to it- but this is something I have to do."

Bas clenched his jaw and nodded his head in a jerky, tense movement. Mara bit her lip and shifted along with Bas, the nerves were tangible.

"I have..." Mara paused and gestures to her attire of bare feet and one of Bas' shirts. "I have nothing suitable to...."

Mara trailed off but Bas knew what she was trying, and failing to say. Despite all of her strength and skill, around Bas Mara was as unsure as she had been her first day of training.

"I'll umm.... I'll find you something."

Neither Bas nor Mara could face walking into Bayen's cabin, the blood stain was imprinted behind their eyes as well as in the wood. Scanning his eyes around his cabin frantically, Bas finally noticed his black trench coat for the winter months hanging up and he walked over to it.

Mara let her eyes follow him silently but as soon as he turned around she let her eyes fall back to the ground. She knew she looked like a weak and emotional mess, and she certainly didn't want Bas staring into her eyes.

"It's not much but uhhh..." Bas anxiously held it out for her and rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Thank you, Bastian."

Bas clenched his jaw as Mara's delicate voice graced his ears with his own name spoked with her heavily accented tongue. It was only after Mara's truth came to light that Bas realised her accent was not one from Zauros, it wasn't a tone he had ever heard before, but now, he knew he loved it.

"Would you like some help?" Bas offered as Mara struggled with the heavy coat. Finally she nodded and turned around so Bas could help her.

He carefully shrugged the coat over her shoulders and swept her hair over to one side, his fingertips accidentally skimmed the exposed skin of her neck and made them both tremble imperceptibly.

Silently, Bas moved back to wait at the threshold of the cabin and Mara slipped her feet into her boots.

They walked alongside one another, occasionally their hands brushed and they both sprung apart awkwardly. In another situation, in another time Mara knew that she would be distracted by his presence, but on this day all Mara's thoughts held were Bayen.

The men looked up from their mourning as the pair walked towards them until Mara's steps faltered as her eyes fell of Bayen's coffin.

"No," she moaned in pain, "no, no I can't do this."

She desperately tried to back away but Bas gently laid a hand at the small of her back to steady her.

"Mara," he whispered softly against the shell of her ear, "if you want to leave, you can. But I fear you will regret it if you do."

"Yes, yes," Mara agreed weakly, "you're right."

Bas sighed heavily and began to lead Mara back to the front of the crowd, he should have taken his hand from her back, but he couldn't. And deep down, he hoped Mara was grateful for his hand.

A funeral ceremony on the Golden Promise wasn't a religious affair, the men came from all corners of the land so religion wasn't unifying- what was unifying was the songs of praise the men chanted for Bayen.

Mara bit her lip hard, allowing the tang of blood and pain to distract her from the aching tears in her eyes.

Bas' presence was welcome behind her, but as the men began to lower the coffin into the ocean not even pain could stop Mara's tears from falling to her cheeks.

She sniffled and desperately tried to hide them. Bas noticed and cautiously pulled her into him. Hiding against his chest, Mara finally allowed herself to weep for Bayen and when Mara's arms wound their way around Bas' waist he too allowed himself to cry.