This may be triggering because there will be drug abuse and somewhat sad situations happening in this so if it makes you feel uncomfortable then skip it please
P.s in this i wont include whose top or bottom until the next part (if there is any sexy things that'll happen) because there is no smut in this just yet sorry but stay tuned
Another thing I'm sorry I haven't been updating my health has been out of wack and its like I really can't catch a break mentally and physically i want to write along with update for you guys so badly but it's kind of hard while I'm sick however when i get better I promise to put out more chapters
This update may be short (since I already wrote this a long time ago) and a bit sucky but the next part will be better loves
I purple you guys 💜
Words: 1048
-
To people i am what you call a junkie
A crazy addict, drug abuser, fanatic or whatever else they could creatively come up with
I know that's not how you start a story but hey this is my truth plus the only way i could fully help you understand how i almost lost my life to drugs with other dangerous substances that shouldn't be consumed in such a young body
Or how in the end i still lost the first man that i've ever fell in love with because i just couldn't get my shit together
Let's start at square one shall we?
-
It all started one shitty monday morning i just got back from partying something that was no stranger to me
I usually would stay out all night, sometimes i wouldn't come home in weeks which was really a bad idea since all my friends were worried about me
Waiting to see if I finally croaked or not
I'm a horrible person who always put his selfish needs before the one's that he loves mostly i cared about was feeling that high over and over again
When i was in that headspace it was like i was getting hugged tightly by big warm arms that would never let you go somewhat like this indescribable euphoria that I couldn't shake
I know i'm not alone in the world but when i was high on cloud nine i felt surrounded
Like i was safe,
Like i could finally fucking breathe without somebody complaining about it
"There you are, oh god how many times are you going to keep doing this jungkook you could die or even worst overdose do you want that?!" Hoseok ran to me engulfing me in a hug "i-im not ready to bury my best friend" many times he sings the same sad tune to me and all i do is let those words go in one ear then out the other
"I told you hyung that im okay" i reassured him but he wasn't letting up frowning at me knowing that i was anything but okay "did you cook breakfast because i- wait what the fuck is this" sitting in a circle was the rest of my friends with a strange man that i never met before he was tall and you could tell he had to be a professional at something by his expensive watch but what really caught my attention was his peculiar dimple smile
"Hello young man my name is kim namjoon and your friends here say that you need serious help with your drug addiction so today we held a intervention to show you that the choices you make damages your relationships in the long run so please have a seat for me"
I was furious
I mean they could've just got me alone and told me what they really felt instead of getting some random stranger into my business but who would blame them when i was on the brink of killing myself,
I knew that i needed help
I just didn't want it
Taking a seat jin sits next to me holding my hand with a sad smile on his face while hobi sat next to jimin "okay who would like to talk first?" The doctor or whatever he was said
Hoseok rose his hand scooting closer to me "kookie listen i love you i-i always have we grew up together for heavens sake i know that your probably angry with how we did this but we had to no matter what we do you don't listen and it scares us, i fear that one day i would find you not breathing again like i did last time I don't want that to happen so please get some help" he teared up making me feel some type of way
Next to talk was jimin "the first time i met you jungkook we partied like there was no tomorrow you showed me that being free wasn't a bad thing now look at you, honestly i don't think that you do drugs for a high anymore but i feel that your broken and it's drives me crazy that I can't help you get over the pain that haunts you i-i just want my friend back" damn seeing my hyung's cry was never a easy thing to watch especially when jin would drop a tear
"He's right kook we're tired of this going back and fourth to the hospital so we decided that it's best you go to rehab for a while" jin said next which i knew was coming
They were gonna send me away to hell
There was nothing i could say to that i mean I couldn't refuse because i was stuck at a dead end with no escape route in mind
That night i got to sleep in my bed one last time before they drove me up to the rehab facility
Walking in the people around me looked worn out to the point of no return and i start to inwardly panic
Will that be me in a few years?
Stuck in my own disfigured mind locked up like a prisoner as i relive the moments i so desperately try to keep away
Honestly will this place even change the bad in me?
Or break me all over again