female idol ᵏⁿʲ

was

'because of men?'

his gaze is questioning, almost curious
and i can't help but scoff at the way he seems to not know

"you think a woman would've send me here?"

realisation hits his features and he chuckles
he chuckles

"you're right"

his dimples show and my growing confusion does too
he takes a few steps until
we're close enough i could touch the creases in his cheeks if i stretched out a finger,
the orange warmth becoming more intense in the process.

he stands there smiling
smiling like a child
rosy cheeks
smiling because he can
smiling the way i can't

and it makes me furious.

my breath quickens, my brows draw together in a line
implicating a thunderstorm
and the storm bubbles up my throat
little lightnings making their way into my irises
clouds emptying themselves behind my teeth
until it overflows
because it's all too much
and i spit out: "so you're here to fuck me or what?"

widened eyes, an instinctive step backwards

"no, not at all!"

he is not?
my eyes wander to his tightened lips,
no he is not.
relief swallows the dark clouds and leaves a spoon of sun on my taste buds

he adds "i should probably explain myself,"
and the smile he still carries is apologetic now.

"indeed, you should, kim namjoon"