Art School for the Elite

One

Chapter 1

"You're getting the letters from ASE for almost a year now? And you don't even have any plans on telling me?" Inirapan ko si Kuya Vance. Ano naman? Wala namang magbabago kahit na sabihin ko sa kanya.

We're here in our living room. Kanina pa ako naririndi sa boses ni Kuya Vance. He won't stop on talking about those stupid letters. Lagi ko kasing inuunahan si Kuya or 'yung mga maids namin na kunin 'yung mails everytime na may dumadating to hide them. Nasaktuhan lang ngayon na wala ako 'nung dumating ang mga mails, and si Kuya Vance ang nag-receive. Wow, lucky me.

"Yeah." Walang gana kong sagot. "Wala naman akong balak mag-aral diyan so why bother ba?"

I'm already a first-year student at Ranai University, and I'm studying BS Entrepreneurship. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit pinili ko 'tong course. Oh, kahit anong course naman ang piliin ko, okay lang. Mayaman naman kami so hindi ako mahihirapan after I graduate. Our family have so many connections, and there are so many opportunities waiting for me, so I don't really think that much about my future.

"Tine, this is ASE." Kuya Vance said in a serious tone. "You are awarded and recognized as an art prodigy when you were nine years old. Bata ka pa lang, tinitignan ka na ng ASE. Nakitaan ka nila ng potential!"

ASE. Art School for the Elite. Ah yes, an art university that is exclusive to the rich. Hindi sila tumatanggap nang basta-basta. Kahit na napakagaling pa at napaka-talented ng isang tao, kung mahirap lang siya... Wala.

"Ano naman?" Naiirita kong tanong. Tinignan ako nang masama ni Kuya.

"This is your dream school." Sabi niya.

"Was." Pagco-correct ko.

Art School for the Elite is the most prestigious art school in the whole world. Ever since I was a child, pinangarap ko nang mag-aral sa ASE. I did everything so they could notice me. Isa na 'yung hindi ako tumigil noon sa pagpa-practice noon para maging isa sa top 10 artists all over the world na mabigyan ng Child Prodigy Award.

No one can apply for ASE kasi. They are the ones who choose their students. Kapag nakatanggap ka ng letter from them, para bang ang taas-taas na ng tingin sa'yo ng other elite. Kasi meaning, you're talented and skilled. Even though artists who came from rich and influential families lang ang kinukuha nila, wala itong babayaran. Yes, everything is free. It's because the government fully supports the art students.

But actually, the cost of having everything free is way more expensive. Hanggang ngayon kasi, nagdo-doubt pa rin ang government sa kakayahan ng sining. Sinusuportahan nga nila, pero wala silang tiwala. Naniniwala pa rin ang mga tao na walang patutunguhan ang isang tao kapag ito ang pinag-aralan. This is why ibinigay nila ang opportunity 'to para lamang sa elite. Kaya lang naman sila hindi tumatanggap ng less-fortunate students ay possible na marami ang hindi kayang i-pursue ang arts, music, dance, and acting after they graduate. Ang nasa contract kasi ng ASE ay kapag hindi mo ginamit ang pinag-aralan mo from them, babayaran mo lahat. Ibabalik mo sa kanila ang lahat. The price and payment terms still remains confidendential pero maraming rumors na it costs millions and millions. 'Yun lang tanging reason nila kung bakit hindi tumatanggap ang ASE ng hindi elite.

"Isn't changing the world in some small way with art your dream?" Kuya Vance asked.

He's right. It's just... I lost my passion for art. 'Yung ito na nga lang ang tanging nagsisilbing escape ko sa lahat, pero dumating pa ako sa point na ito rin 'yung naging source ng stress ko. I found myself na lang stopped picking up my paintbrushes. Because of emptiness and sadness, it made me stop what I loved doing, which is art. Everything I've ever dreamed of, unti-unting nagfe-fade.

It was seven years ago 'nung nawalan na ng saysay ang buhay ko. My Mom and Dad left us for business in Switzerland. Sinama nila si Shaun, my brother who's only a year younger than me. I was 13 years old at that time. 20 years old na ako. I wonder if ano nang itsura ngayon ni Shaun. Matangkad rin kaya siya tulad ni Kuya? May girlfriend na kaya ang baby brother ko? Hindi ko sila nakakausap. Pinadadalhan na lang kami ni Kuya Vance ng pera ng parents ko. 'Yun lang. Wala na. Nakalimutan na ata nilang may anak rin sila dito sa Pilipinas.

A year after my parents went to Switzerland, Kuya Vance received a letter from ASE, and he accepted it to study dance. Naiwan na ako tuluyang mag-isa. Sa ASE kasi, masaya nga ang buhay ng elite doon pero wala silang connection sa outside world, except for summer and Christmas breaks. During those four years na nag-aaral si Kuya Vance sa ASE, I truly felt alone. I never had the chance to make friends rin sa school dati because of trust issues. Ayoko nang magdagdag pa ng tao sa buhay ko kasi alam kong iiwan rin naman nila ako. Mas mabuti pang 'di ko na sila kilalanin pa para hindi ako masaktan sa huli.

"Kuya, I'm going to my room na. I'm tired." Paalam ko sa kanya. Kagagaling ko lang rin kasi from my university. Hindi naman talaga ako gaanong pagod pero gusto ko lang i-avoid na 'yung topic about ASE.

"Okay. Just..." Napahinto si Kuya Vance at tinitigan niya ako na para bang worried siya sa'kin. Alam kong may gusto siyang sabihin pero, hindi niya na ito tinuloy. "Sige, Tine. Pahinga ka na." He smiled.

I nodded and smiled at him too. I love my Kuya Vance more than anything. Siya lang ang nag-iisang taong sa buhay ko. I'm glad na kasama ko na siya. After he graduated two years ago, he became a celebrity here in the Philippines. And recently, he opened his first dance studio. Despite his busy and tiring schedule, he never fails to spend his time with me. He even allows me to accompany him whenever he has activities out of town or country. Uma-absent ako sa class para lang sumama sa kanya. Like I said, wala akong pakialam about sa studies ko. Kaya lang naman ako nag-college ay para lang may mailagay akong degree. Pero I don't think rin naman na important 'yun since I'm a Morgan. My family owns a big enterprise, and my Kuya is a famous dancer. Kahit saan, pwedeng-pwede ako.

As I enter my room, una kong nakita ang acrylic name plate na nakapatong sa study table ko. Kristine Miracle Morgan. I also don't know kung bakit ako nagpagawa nito dati. Hindi ko na rin kasi talaga alam kung anong mayroon sa buhay ko. All I know is I'm longing for something. I feel like I'm wasting my youth being lost. Being empty. Doing things that doesn't have any meaning.

Everything in my life has gone to hell. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I always try to do my best naman, pero wala talaga eh. I really want to get my life back together, but I don't know where to start kaya hanggang ngayon, ganito pa rin ako.

It feels like I'm at the edge of the cliff, waiting for my fate to either let me fall or pull me back. I only want to go to a time where it feels like I'm not falling apart anymore.

Kinuha ko 'yung desk name plate. "Kristine Miracle Morgan..." Huminto ako nag-isip ng sasabihin sa sarili ko.

"Stupid. You're here. Wishing that something would happen when you're doing nothing."