"I don't deserve you. Sorry." Five words, after that, he left me.
3 months after
"Hi Kiara, Sorry I didn't made it to the opening of R&A the day before yesterday. Screw it, the flight was cancelled kasi." Rina apologized.
"It's fine! Tara muna sa condo." Lumabas kami ng R&A and used my Mini Cooper. Mabilis lang kaming nakarating d'on at bumaba na.
Tumaas na kami at pumasok sa condo ko.
"Oh my gosh. I'm so f-cking tired!" Sabi ni Rina at sumalampak sa sofa.
"How's life? Kwento ka dali." I said to her and put my hair to a messy bun, I opened the tv and sat beside her.
"No, babe. Ikaw dapat ang magkwento, Wala akong balita sa'yo for 3 months Kia! I tried to contact you but you're not answering my calls and texts, even my chats! What happened? Last week mo lang ako tinawagan saying na umuwi ako sa Pilipinas kasi may new shop ka na bubuksan then after that you hanged up, you didn't even let me talk. You have some explanation to do, babe." I sighed. I forgot to tell her that.
"Remember Paul?" I asked and looked at her. "Duh? He's your boyfriend, and how can I not remember my bestfriend's boyfriend?"
"EX-boyfriend. We broke up 3 months ago."
"And you didn't bother telling that to me?! Oh my gosh, Kia! Are you insane?! I was worried-sick about you! I'm gonna kill that guy when I see him! If I mean kill, literally!"
"Calm down babe, and I'm sorry okay? I. . forgot to tell you about that. . Forgive me?" I tried my best not to cry, okay, I'll admit it, I'm still not over him. She hugged me. "I know how you feel. I felt that before." I burst out. "It dam-n hurts Rina, I thought he'll never hurt me."
"Now calm down and tell me the whole story."
"Uhm. . Kasi ganito yun, he texted me, sabi niya pupunta daw siya dito sa condo, then nagprepare ako ng pwedeng kainin, tapos dumating na siya tapos pinapasok ko siya tapos naupo muna kami saglit tapos he said na 'I don't deserve you. Sorry.' After that, he left. He didn't bother explaining it to me. Why the f-ck does he want to break up with me? I busied myself na lang sa pagpapatayo ng R&A, so I can at least be distracted. I thought I got over him last last month and yun nga, Papunta na ako nun sa R&A to check how was the construction going, then I saw him, I saw him Rina, he's with another girl, he's― he's smiling! He's smiling while I felt miserable―pained, that time. It all came back to me, all at once. I haven't completely gotten over him. I know na hindi niya yun kapatid, hindi niya relative, not even a friend. Because if it is, hindi sila ganun ka close, she's clinging to him like she never want him to go anywhere! And he's alright with that, you can see it in their faces, Rina. I saw it." I looked at Rina and tears were running down her cheeks.
"Kia. . I'm your bestfriend and I―I'm not even there when―when you needed someone." I hugged her and rested my head over her shoulder.
"I'll admit, I'm still not over him though, but I'm happy with the way things are.
He doesn't need to tell me those five words and left. If he found another girl, if he fell out of love, he can just tell me, I'll try to understand. Gusto ko lang naman magsabi siya ng totoo, kasi ang sakit kapag nakita mo, ng dalawang mata mo ang rason kung bakit ka niya iniwan. Mas masakit yun, kung sinabi niya lang ng maaga na may nahanap na siyang iba, edi mas maiintindihan ko. Kaso hindi, kasi mas pinili niyang magsinungaling."
"I'll surely kill that Paul when I saw him. Now, why don't we watch a movie, I'm sure that'll calm the two of us down." We both wiped our wet cheeks and choose a movie that we'll watch.
AFTER watching Tfios, Rina decided to go home.
"If you need me, call me okay? I'll be right away." She said before she went outside, I insisted to let me drive her home, but she didn't want to.
Time check: 6:09 pm
Tumawag ako kay Anji, ang manager-slash-sister ko, para kamustahin ang R&A, sabi niya ay marami pa rin daw tao.
Fashion designer kasi si Anj (she doesn't want me to call her Ate, kambal kasi kami, pagdadahilan niya, nauna lang daw kasi siya ng minuto) And nung nalaman niyang magtatayo ako ng shop, tinulungan niya ako. Alam niya rin ang nangyari sa amin ni Paul, pero hindi detalyado, sabi ko lang break na kami at niyakap niya lang ako, hindi na siya nagtanong kung ano ang nangyari. Buong araw kaming nagshopping at nanuod ng movie nun sa mall.
Nagdrive thru na lang ako sa mcdo dahil tinatamad naman ako magluto. Pagkatapos, umuwi na rin ako. Kumain lang ako saglit at niligpit na rin ang pinagkainan ko, pagod ako masyado ngayong araw. Nagasikaso pa kasi ako sa shop bago dumating si Rina, ang dami pa namang tao nun.
Pahiga na sana ako ng may nagdoorbell. Wala naman akong nagawa a tumayo at pinagbuksan na lamang iyon.
"Hi Ma'am, pinapabigay po. Pirma na lang po kayo dito." Pumirma ako at nagpasalamat, kinuha ko ang bouquet at isinara ang pinto.
"Kanino naman kaya galing 'to?" May nakita akong note na nakasiksik at binasa ito
Hey Lovely. I'm sorry. :( :)
91225
91225. .
Tsk. Ang kapal naman ng mukha.
Tinapon ko to sa trash bin at natulog na lamang.
NAGISING ako dahil sa sinag ng araw galin sa bintana, ugh. Nakalimutan kong isara yung window. I was about to go to sleep when I heard the doorbell rang. Damn, who the f-ck is it now?!
Time check: 8:33 am
Kahit ayoko pang tumayo, pinilit ko na lang. Binuksan ko ang pinto at letter lang ang nandun. Sh-t naman.
Sinara ko ang pinto at naupo sa sofa. Binuksan ko ang tv at letter.
Meet me at our secret place later? 9:00 am. Please? It's Paul.I just want to talk.
Walang nakakakaalam kung saan ang secret place namin kundi kaming dalawa lang. Ang gaga pero pupunta ako.
Nagready na ako at nag ayos, pagkatapos, pumunta na ako agad do'n.
Pagdating ko, ganun pa din. Katulad pa din ng dati.
Dito kami madalas mag picnic, may treehouse na maliit din dito.
Nakita ko si Paul na nakaupo, hindi niya ata napansin ang presensya ko. "Paul?" Lumingon siya at nagsalubong ang dalawa naming mata.
"Ara. ." Tumayo siya at pumunta sa kinaroroonan ko. "I'm glad you came. Babe, I missed you. I'm sorry." He was about to hug me when I stepped back. Akala niya ganun lang kadali yun? Ano, joke time lang?
"Paul, we're over. You broke up with me. Your mistake."
"No, no. ."
"Paul, you're crazy. Kung ito lang naman yung paguusapan natin, I'm going." Tumalikod na ako at pumunta sa kinaroroonan ng Mini Cooper ko. "But you still love me, right?" I faced him. "I loved you. Loved. Past. You're right. I don't deserve you." I gave him a bitter smile.
"Ara, babe. I―I'm sorry, can we start all over again?"
"Bullshit, Paul. Bull.shit."
I quickly turned and headed to my car. I started the engine, started to drive back. My turn to left him.
After that talk, I realized, Some people don't deserve to be given second chances. If he thought I'll get back with him, that we'll be together again, that we'll start over again, then he's wrong. Completely wrong. What does he think I am? I did admit that I'm still not over him but that doesn't mean that I'll let him enter my life again. No.
I also realized that what's haunting me, what's stopping me from quickly getting over him, is the memories. Our memories. The things that we did when we were still together. I didn't noticed a tear that escaped my right eye.
I know I did the right thing.
I'm Kiara, signing off :)
XxPuchelletheCatxX
© March 23, 2015
