Kaz Brekker Imagines

The Light in the Window

You're polishing your weapons when you first see the light flash in the window. For a while now, all you've known is the smell of grease and gunpowder, the same smoothing gestures of your polishing cloth. Scattered around you on your desk are two knives, one pistol, one garotte, several rounds of bullets, and one flash bomb, because when you find yourself dating Kaz Brekker, it pays to be prepared. You love your boyfriend with all of your foolish, risk-taking heart, but man, you find yourself in a lot of death-defying scenarios whenever you're around him.

Speaking of which, the matter of the light in your window catches your attention. You glance around the room around you, seeing nothing but the usual array of wooden floorboards and rain-streaked windows. Your quarters at the Slat have been yours ever since you started working for the Dregs a few years ago, and you know every creak of the hall outside and rhythmic thump of footsteps on the stairs below. Seeing as you haven't heard a familiar clump of a cane against the stairwell, you can assume that the one flashing the light at your window from his office far above you is Kaz, as per usual. You smile, put down your weapons, and go to him.

Sometimes, it's hard for people to believe that Kaz could ever be anything more than Dirtyhands, the half-man, half-monster whose hands are coated with so much blood that he has to wear gloves to hide the stains. When they see him, they see a cruel gaze and nothing more. The thought that he would ever actually allow himself to love anyone or be loved would astound them, if they even allowed themselves to give Kaz that much humanity in their minds.

You, however, see something different. You had the trappings of another Kerch runner even before you stumbled upon the Barrel, and Kaz snatched you up for his Dregs soon enough. You've worn many coats over the years- burglar, smuggler, thief, general criminal. You've taken on jobs that would make your family's teeth chatter to see the blood you've shed, but it doesn't trouble you much. After all, you've gone and found someone who's just as blind to the carnage as you are: Kaz Brekker.

It took the two of you a long time to realize that you weren't just going through a particularly intense rivalry, or close-knit friendship, but what might even wear the trimmings of love. It took even longer for you two to stop running from whatever it was that made your hearts skip a beat and your fingers twitch to hold each other. In the end, it took a moonlit night full of close calls and intoxicating nearness for him to say anything, and it took your understanding of those few mumbled words to smile and finish the confession.

Now, you've been dating for a few months now, or whatever goes for dating around here. Sure, you don't promenade around the boulevards the way the rich girls used to with their beaux in your old town, but you do come home to flowers awaiting you in your room at the Slat, and save each other's lives often enough that you swear you could recognize his heartbeat in a crowd of panicked souls. Isn't that better than swishing skirts and well-practiced waltzes?

Another habit that you've come to share with Kaz is that which caught your attention just a few moments ago: the light in the window. As it turns out, your room is at the perfect angle to Kaz's office so that he can casually hang a lantern against his windowpane and have the reflection of the light spirit away to your bedroom window. It's not an order, or a request, just an off-hand remark: if you're here, so am I.

So, you smile to yourself, pocket the last of your pistols, and lock your bedroom door behind you. You ascend the stairs quietly, making sure that none of the Dregs see you go up to Kaz's office. It wouldn't do for rumors of Kaz having a girl to make it to the ears of the Dime Lions or Razorgulls. In fact, you're fairly sure that only two others know that you're seeing Kaz at all- Inej Ghafa, who likely knew that you two had feelings for each other even before you realized it yourselves, and Jesper Fahey, who had to be bribed with several cases of bullets to make him stop grinning like a lunatic whenever he saw you and Kaz walking together.