Drowned Words

18

I felt sick to my stomach as Lori gave a sigh, "I... understand..."
Rick's mouth parted, looking back to me almost in disbelief. We all sat outside the farmhouse, Lori sitting on the steps. I shook my head, "No really I cant believe I-"
"-no. I really do understand," she looked to her hands, "You guys were there for eachother when we couldn't be. When emotions run high and there seems to only be one..." I watched as it clicked in Rick's mind, "one person that understands what happening. The feeling of relief can get mixed up with others." I lightly played with my lips, she started to slowly relate this to her situation with Shane. It made sense. She looked up to me and sighed, "I'm just glad you guys told me."
"Of course Lori," he sat down next to her and I couldnt help but feel out of place. She continued, "I just ask that this doesnt happen again."
"No!" I shook my head, "Never. I'm sorry about this... really."
She nodded, "Its okay babe. Really."

The tension between us two faded but it still very much resided between the couple. I took this as my leave, saying my last few words and stepping back. The camp lights were dim, only a few still awake. The breeze started to pick up so I wrapped my arms around myself, trudging towards the tent. The lamp was still glowing from inside so I hoped he was still awake. Then maybe I'd have someone to talk to about what happened.
A small bout of giggling sounded in the tent as I reached for the zipper. Damn... this was starting to get annoying. I sighed and stepped back, Hershel probably wouldnt mind if I slept on the couch. Turning away I began my trek back to the farmhouse. Walking past Daryls tent I heard his soft breaths. I couldnt help but think back to our night together, it seemed like nothing but it sure felt like something. Especially when I woke up, his body warmth still there... when he came in to wake me up- I regretted even toying with the idea that I'd happen again. Then again I kind of wished I pretended to be asleep, "(y/n)..." my face softly brushed by his warm knuckles.
I shook my head trying to get the image to fade, "Stupid Bitch... Pft seems so." For me to even think it was a possibility. It's as if our argument earlier has erased all possibilities but didnt erase the feelings. My chest ached, all the events tonight piled on my feelings towards Daryl and didnt seem to ease up. What the hell was I to do? My parents would tease me if they could hear me now, saying I had. a little crush. Who knows, maybe they are right. Maybe it wasnt so normal to feel your heart quicken at the glance shared with someone else, when he showed me how to do things, when he was hurt, when he laughed at anything.

Hell just the thought of Daryl made my body tense. I sighed and took the side door, not really wanting to encounter Lori again for the night. Honestly it all just felt horrible, it was a mix up if emotions and shouldnt have even happened in the first place. The feeling of guilt sat on my shoulders like a crow, always reminding us thait's there. I shook my head and headed inside, soon taking a spot in the livingroom.

It took a while before my eyes stayed shut, only to go into a restless sleep. My dreams were series of fights, arguments, stress inducing scenarios that woke me up every few minutes.
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Daryls POV
I woke up to a noise outside my window screen. My legs sore from the previous day as I stretched.
"Daryl?"
Glenn stood outside my window as I opened my eyes, "Whaaat?" I groaned and turned over, careful of my side. "Wake up (Y/n), it's our turn to make breakfast."
(Y/n)? I turned to look next to me as if she was there, "Whatre you talkin about? Why'd she be in here?" Annoyed I closed my eyes again, "Dont wake me up."
"She's... not with you guys?"
This time his voice had a touch of worry. What did he mean? Wait, "Whatdya mean- did you kick her out again?"
He sighed, "Not on purpose... I just assumed she stayed with you again." My stomach stirred slightly, she probably would have if I wasnt so mean to her yesterday. "Where else could she be?"
"Maybe with Andrea?"
I couldnt stop from scoffing, "Chill out she is probably already awake."
"Yea but she isnt at camp."
Hm... (Y/n) hardly ever left camp. I sat up, "Christ, I'll be out."
"Thank you." With that Glenn stepped away. She probably wouldnt want me to find her if she was missing... neither would Sofia. Shane was right, if I found Sofia she wouldve ran the other way... Does (Y/n) think the same? That I look all methed out and crazy? My head began to spin at the thought of it.