Drowned Words

19

"Adding another number to that list must be easy."
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20 hours earlier
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I warmed my hands by the fire, "Its getting too cold. We should probably make a trip out for more supplies. Clothes for everyone."
"Yea," Andrea nodded, "Think Daryl would take you?"
Looking towards the barn I shrugged, "Probably not..."
"Dont tell me you guys got in another fight," she chuckled.
"No," I kicked another log onto the fire, "he has just gotten quiet. Distant..." Making sure Carol wasnt around I said, "Finding Sofia was so important to him. To everyone but it was different for him."
She nodded, "Yea... I couldn't really tell it bothered him though."
"Really?" I looked back up to her, "I thought it was obvious."
Andrea rubbed her hands together, "(Y/n) nothing with him seems to get past you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Y'all act like an old married couple," she rolled her eyes, "let eachother see sides no one else does."
"Pft," I held in a laugh, "Suuuure."
"Hey," holding up her hands, "just sayin what I see."

The last week since we discovered Sofia, Daryl was physically here and around but his mind was always elsewhere. Doesnt help I hear when he gets up early in the mornings as he walks by my tent. One morning I got out to ask him what he was doing, I realized he was visiting Sofias little grave. Since that morning I havent bothered to get up and never mentioned it to him. Seems he was the reason her flowers never died.

As I thought to myself, Andrea stood up. "Wonder what they're gonna do with him." We both looked back to the barn, they brought back a kid from town. The group, or should I say men, didnt know if we could trust him. Currently he was staying in the barn as he was visited for interrogations and meal times. They didnt dare let anyone else talk to him really, Daryl always got defensive whenever I asked about it.
"Dunno, Rick's been saying something about letting him go."
"Shane wouldnt like that," she mumbled. That was something we were still on odds about. We managed to make up and be friends again but neither of us could fully agree on Shane's outlook. Then again it didnt help that he somehow managed to get his grubby hands on her heart. Andrea may have mentioned how she didnt have romantic feelings for him but their relationship seemed fulfilling. It covered the loneliness and made her feel good, he needed her for something and whether it was sex or not it made her feel better. Andrea seemed to still agree with Rick's views, which left her feeling conflicted in most of the group decisions. I sighed, "Shane wouldn't like anything that was merciful."
"Guess you have a point," she stood up, "I'll be heading for bed. Bunking with me?"
I shook my head, "No... Glenn's kinda moved to the house so I dont have to worry about him kicking me out. Thanks though."
She only nodded, turning and walking to the RV.  I sat a while longer, hoping the men would leave the barn, maybe a few questions can be answered. Soon I saw the doors swing open, Daryl, Rick, and Shane stepping out. It felt like forever as they all exchanged words, seemed the conversation would carry on all night. Standing up I smothered the fire, leaving embers incase the others wanted to relight. Turning and making the walk towards my tent, maybe Rick would be around to talk tomorrow...
...
...
Carl has been so distant... Part of me feels he hates my guts. The loss of Sofia is hard for him but it's almost as if something else is bothering him. I just wish he would open up to someone...

I slid the paper into the sleeve, pictures peeking at me from the other side. Closing the binder, I slid it under my cot.
...
...
"God!"
I sat up straight as I heard Carols shrill voice. Getting up and unzipping the tent, I could see her walking back to Sofias grave. By the sun's location, I assumed it was about 7 am... Her distant form stood infront the pile of rocks, head down as she stared at the fresh Cherokee Roses.
Stepping out, I walked towards the RV. Dale sat in a lawn chair, "Good morning beauty..."
"Good morning old man," I teased and pat his shoulder, "how is she?"
"Torn." He sighed, "Poor girl hates the roses, all they do is remind her of the fight they lost. Although she can appreciate the sentiment."
I nodded, "Yea..."
"Daryl should let it rest," Dale crossed his arms. I shrugged and looked towards his tent, "He doesnt know what he is doing. Daryls mourning too."
"I should talk to him about it."
"No," I sighed, "I'll take care of it."