IT STARTED WITH A WHISPER, Elizabeth Olsen

Sleepless night

Trigger warning(s): Violence, mention of abuse, mention of sexual assault.

Loki got up before me and ran downstairs which both surprised and reassured me. He was really friendly, as were most dogs of his kind, but he was also very protective of me. In that moment, he didn't seem defensive. But I still made my way downstairs trying to be as quiet as I could, silently cursing at the wooden floor each time it cracked under my weight. I also cursed at myself for watching so many horror movies that started exactly like this. I relaxed a little when I saw Loki sitting behind the door, calm and intrigued. He wasn't scared, so why should I have been? I thought to myself as I reached the door and cracked it opened.

"I didn't know where else to go" Lizzie sobbed, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked terrified. I let her come in and locked the door behind us. "I'm sorry, I- Oh, God... I hope he didn't follow me" she cried, hiding her face behind the palms of her hands.

"Who? Lizzie, what happened?" I asked, trying not to freak out as I grew more and more concerned. I gently pushed her hands away from her face and wiped a few tears off her cheeks.

"At first, I- I thought it was my fault, that I had done something... or said something, and I deserved it so I- I stayed. But he... He did it again, and again, and..." her voice completely broke, forcing her to stop in the middle of her sentence. Violent sobs shook her body as she stood there, crying uncontrollably. As much as it scared me and I wished I was wrong, I understood what she was talking about.

"Come here..." I whispered as I carefully wrapped my arms around her shoulder, guiding her towards the couch. She collapsed against me, allowing herself to break down completely. "Lizzie, I know it's hard and you don't have to do it right now, but I need you to tell me what happened" I spoke softly, trying to know exactly how serious this situation was. She nodded hesitantly, clearing her throat a few times before she found the strength to speak again.

"It started a few months ago, we got into a fight and he pushed me... But I deserved it, I'd gone too far. After that, he- he started slapping me if I came home too late, or- or throwing things at me, or- or hitting me if I didn't text him back fast enough. I couldn't find the strength to leave, I- But the other day, after Brie drove me home, he lost it. He..." she couldn't bring herself to finish her explanation as a new wave of sobs took over her body. It took everything in me to stay focused on her rather than on the atrocity of the situation.

"It's okay, we can finish that conversation later, you need to rest" I reassured her, soothingly rubbing up and down her back, not wanting her to feel pressured to talk about it.

"I'm- I'm just... so scared that you- that you'll judge me..." she confessed, voice filled with shame as she brought her hands back to her face to hide behind her palms again. Only, this time I let her. I let her find comfort in hiding her face from me.

"Lizzie, I would never judge you" the words came out like a promise, I promise I vowed years ago to never break and had never broken. I wanted her to feel like she could talk to me about anything, just like we used to. No, I needed her to know that she could talk to me about anything, just like we used to.

"That night, I was really drunk" she started hesitantly. "I came home and just wanted to sleep, but he... he wanted to... you know... And I really didn't but he- he waited until I fell asleep and he- he started- he r-" the word got stuck in her throat as she leaned against me and cried in my arms. I couldn't help the gasp that slipped past my lips. The abuse part was bad enough but this... This was worse than anything I could have prepared myself for. I quickly got a hold on myself and held her a bit tighter.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay" I whispered before placing a comforting kiss on her forehead, an old habit we used to have. I held her until she calmed down and fell asleep sobbing quietly in my arms. I laid her down on the couch and placed a soft blanket on top of her. Then, I grabbed a book and sat on the opposite chair, wanting to stay awake just in case she woke up and needed something, anything. I couldn't possibly have slept anyway. I kept replaying her words in the back of my mind, feeling physically sick as I imagined just how scared she must have felt. The heavy silence in my living room was quickly replaced by loud punches on my front door. This time, Loki didn't run and sit. He ran and growled, showing his large jaw and sharp teeth as he stood defensively behind the door.

"Elizabeth!" a man's voice shouted. "I know you're in there!" he said, hitting the door again. Loki barked. I didn't even bother to answer and immediately reached for my phone, calling the police. The man kept yelling and, of course, Lizzie woke up. A look of guilt washed over her face as she looked at me.

"I'm sorry, I should have known he'd come for me, I- I shouldn't have brought you into this" she apologised with a shaky voice, eyes glancing towards the door, afraid that it would give in under the repetitive punches.

"It's okay, police officers are on their way" I reassured her, placing a comforting hand on her knee before squeezing it gently. The next five minutes felt like forever as we waited for them to get there. Eventually, a police car parked up front and after another minute, an officer knocked on my door while his colleagues tried to calm the man down. That's when I realised I didn't even know his name, and I didn't want to know. Poor Lizzie had to tell the whole story all over again, explaining the situation. The man didn't even try to deny it.

I felt sick again when I saw no sign of remorse on his face, almost as if he didn't see the harm in his own actions. His only excuse to the cops was that he was only trying to make her behave. I had to stop myself from crossing the driveway to punch him right in the face as a wave of rage rushing through my veins. Thankfully, after asking Lizzie a few more questions, the officers arrested the man and left.

"What can I do?" I asked with concern as I guided the woman to my room.

"What do you mean?" she asked back, confused. She stopped in her tracks to get a proper look at me.

"I want to help you, Lizzie. What can I do?" I asked again, trying to make the question clearer. Her emerald eyes studied my face for a moment before she responded.

"Could I... stay here for a bit? I mean, just until I find somewhere else" the shyness in her voice betrayed her fear to impose even if I was the one who'd asked in the first place.

"You can stay as long as you need and/or want to. Now, you should try to get some sleep, you must be exhausted" I suggested as we walked into my bedroom. "I'll take the couch" I added, taking a step back from her. She quickly grabbed my hand, stopping me from going any further.

"Actually... could you stay? Just for tonight?" she asked, looking up at me. Of course I accepted. I'd like to say it was purely out of the goodness of my heart, to help out a friend, but that would be a lie. I wanted to be close to her, to hold her, to comfort her. So, I did. I laid down next to her and held her through the night. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. I wanted to stay awake, just in case.

(Originally published on Tue. Sep. 28, 2021, rewritten on Tue. Feb. 11, 2025).