IT STARTED WITH A WHISPER, Elizabeth Olsen

The premiere

I learned the hard way that happiness is an emotion, it can be simple or complex, and it lasts as long as you feel it. I'm no better than anyone else, I wanted to believe that it could last a lifetime, but life taught me differently. Life taught me that rings can't fix a relationship, neither can a promise. Of course, the first few days after my graduation were idyllic, I felt like a teenager falling in love for the first time all over again. But, despite her words and efforts, Lizzie's fear of judgement got the best of her. Every time a picture of the two of us would get posted on a newspaper or a social media page, we would get into a fight. She never made it about the picture, she made it about the most random things really.

I tried my best to put up with it, knowing that habits like that don't just go away. It takes time and work; work she obviously wasn't ready to put in but I ignored it. I behaved the exact same way Brie and Caity predicted I would, I let everything slide. I always made excuses for her when she couldn't or wouldn't find some for herself. I let her treat me like I was the least important person in her life while always making sure she was the most important person in mine. And through all of it, I kept loving her just as much. Certainly not because it was easy, but because I'd convinced myself that it was worth it. That the short moments of happiness were worth all the fight and screams and tears... Brie and Caity never talked about it, too scared that I would taking it out on them for being so right.

Truth was, Lizzie and I had never truly built a relationship. We just got 'together' assume it would work itself out because we loved each other. As teens, no one could have blamed us for believing it would be that simple. But, as adults with a background and experience, it didn't make sense for us to commit the same mistakes all over again. Yet, I let it happen. In fact, one could say I was a willing participant. Although, someday I would wake up and realize how toxic this situation was for the both of us. I would manage to talk myself into leaving, but when I'd reach for the door, or my bag, my eyes would fall on the ring and I just couldn't. I didn't want to give up on her, on us, when I knew how good it could be.

"Are you ready, love?" Lizzie asked, stepping into the bathroom as I was nearly done with my makeup. "That dress looks amazing on you" she said softly, standing behind me to place a kiss on my exposed shoulder.

"Thank you, I swear I'm almost done" I whispered, trying my best not to mess up my eyeliner. She chuckled softly, dropping another kiss on my shoulder before taking a step back.

"Alright, no pressure but I really don't want to be late" she smiled, or rather forced a smile, as she left the room. One of the complicated aspects of staying with someone you spend most of your time arguing with is that you start overthinking everything they do or say. With Lizzie, it was impossible not to. She rarely said what was on her mind. So, when she said she didn't want to be late, I interpreted it as "I don't want to be late because of you."

"Let's roll" I said cheerfully as I got downstairs and went to reach for my car keys.

"I ordered us a cab" Lizzie stopped me before I could reach them. "I just- Parking there is going to be an absolute nightmare" she explained. I could sense there was something else but I was not going to start questioning her, not in that moment when I knew she was already stressed and tensed. So, I patiently waited for the cab to get there and when it did I sat next to her on the backseat, careful not to sit too close. I slowly started to realize that I hated what we'd become in the span of a few weeks. Then, I realized that we'd never been anything else than whatever this was.

"I'm going to go get my pictures taken, do you mind waiting inside by the door?" Lizzie asked, nodding towards the set of stairs that led to the entrance of the building. Again, I knew there was no point in arguing so I simply nodded and headed that way as we left the car. I quietly made my way into the building, standing near the door on the inside just like I was told... I really did need to leave, to leave her.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here on her own?" Brie's cheerful voice spoke up from behind me, allowing me to relax my shoulders for the first time that night.

"Hiding while my amazing girlfriend gets her pictures taken" I responded with a tangible hint of sarcasm. Her lips curled into a reversed smile.

"In that dress? There's no way you aren't getting your picture taken" the blonde said, taking my hand in hers as she took a step towards the door. "Come on, it will be fun, I promise" she added, gently pulling on my hand. I gave in and let her drag me all the way to the carpet with the classic Marvel background. She showed me how to pose, keeping her arm wrapped around my waist to reassure me. Once the camera flashes had nearly blinded us, we made it back into the building where we stumbled across Scarlett.

"Look at her, future star in the making" she teased, playfully nudging my side. "I bet those pictures are going to look amazing."

"Well, I don't know about that but it was a lot of fun" I confirmed Brie's previous statement before turning to her and mouthing a thank you. She brushed it off and dragged me further into the room, closely followed by Scarlett, to go interact with the others. For a minute, I forgot about Lizzie. I forgot that she was there and that whatever I was doing was going to upset her. When I sat next to her during the screening, she barely acknowledged me. And, when the movie ended, she didn't wait for me, simply followed her friends to the reception room.

"Come on, you need a drink" Brie said as she tapped my shoulder and led the way to the reception room. I tried my best to enjoy my night, silently dreading the moment we'd head home. I had a drink with Brie, Scarlett and Tom, trying my best to have fun while I could. Eventually, I relaxed enough to actually enjoy the evening.

"That bad, uh?" Scarlett asked after Brie and Tom had left to go refill their drinks. For a second, I considered acting confused, denying it... but there was no point in doing that. She had eyes, she could see just how bad it had gotten.

"Worse, actually" I chuckled quietly, knowing that it was either this or crying and there was no way I was going to cry during an event like this. "I don't know what to do anymore, I just... I'm supposed to know how to fix this."

"Not everything can be fixed, honey, and you owning a PhD in psychology doesn't change that. The only thing you're supposed to know how to do is pick the better option for yourself" she said softly, a sympathetic smile on her face.

"But... if I leave, what do I have left?" I asked quietly, almost as if I didn't want her to hear me.

"You have friends, lots of them, and that amazing book you're working on, and Loki..." as she started listing the things and people I cared about, I realized just how blinded I had been. Whatever was going to happen, I wouldn't be going through it alone. I had a support system, a fantastic support system.

"I love her, Scarlett. I really, really love her" I whispered, looking down at my feet.

"I know, honey... But, sometimes, that's not enough" she comfortingly squeezed on my shoulder, the same sympathetic smile lingering on her face. She was right, not that I was going to admit it out loud, but she was. We went back to a lighter conversation topic as Brie and Tom reached our level. The night went on until I felt Lizzie hand on my upper arm.

"I'm leaving" she stated without any specific emotion. It wasn't, "we're leaving" or "can we leave?", but "I'm" leaving and that spoke volumes. Right as she said that, I met Scarlett's gaze. She nodded almost unnoticeably, but I noticed. I quickly waved goodbye to the small group and followed Lizzie out of the building. The drive was silent, we didn't exchange a word. I had this weird feeling in my back, like when you know something bad is going to happen. Like, when the wind starts blowing the other way and you can feel the storm coming...

Author's note - Hi... Don't mind me coming back to give this story a proper ending. Unfortunately (for you guys) I am in the mood for drama. On a more serious note, I rewrote most of the previous chapters (from "Breathe in... Breathe out..." to "There's no good wedding without..."). Although I'm not fully satisfied with them, I didn't touch the ones from 2023/2024 because despite not being good they aren't actually bad either. Anyway, if you have any suggestions or ideas for this story, feel free to share. I don't really know how many more chapters I'm going to write but I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't work on any new story until I finished this one (and "EMERALD LOVE, Elizabeth Olsen"). I hope life has been/ is treating you well, take care!