IT STARTED WITH A WHISPER, Elizabeth Olsen

The finale

We stepped out of the car and into my apartment in the same loud, thick and heavy silence. I petted Loki, giving him belly scratches while I waited for the storm to explode. I could feel Lizzie's irritation in the way she stood by my side, threatening to burst.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" she asked, finally breaking the silence. I stood back on my feet, turning around to properly face her. "Do you know what people are going to think?" she added, her voice slightly higher than usual.

"Because as usual this is all that matters, isn't it?" I responded, not willing to give in and let her walk all over me again. She seemed surprised, almost taken aback by the fact that I dared speak up and not let her lead the argument like she always did.

"Oh, so you did it on purpose. You knew exactly what you were doing when you took those pictures, all snuggled up against her" she snapped, her face turning red as she clenched her fists.

"For Christ's sake, Elizabeth, this is Brie you're talking about. I was just taking pictures with a friend because my girlfriend had decided to hide me, again, behind closed doors. This is on you, Lizzie, I didn't do anything wrong" I snapped back, holding my ground.

"You just love it, don't you? Being able to blame everything on me because I have issues and you're so perfect?" she huffed, turning around to leaning against the back of the couch and take of her heels.

"When have I ever blamed you? I'm always making excuses for you, wronging myself for things I'm not responsible for and- And the one time I actually tell you that it's your fault, you act like I've been saying it all along? You think I enjoy this, fighting with you all the time?" my voice was strained, words coming out painfully, leaving my throat sore. She remained silent, eyes widening slightly as she processed every word that came out of my mouth. "Ever since we decided to give it another shot, I've been miserable and that's on me. That's on me for staying and accepting to be treated like a dirty little secret."

"If you're so fucking miserable, why are you still here?" she yelled, barely allowing me to finish my previous sentence.

"Because I love you!" I yelled back, still not willing to give in and smooth things out like I would usually do. "I love you, Lizzie, that is still true but I'm starting to hate it because I should love myself more" I said, regaining a calmer and steadier tone. "We can't keep doing this to each other, this... this is toxic."

"And whose fault is it? Mine?" she asked, not calming down at all.

"It's not about whose fault it is; it's about how much harm it does to the both of us. I love you with all your insecurities, but I'm sick of being the only trying to fix them. If you aren't ready, then there's nothing I can do" the room fell silent for a minute, my words almost echoing as they hit the wall. We both stood there, staring ahead of us without ever really looking at each other.

"So, that's it? We're done?" she asked quietly, her teary emerald, green eyes looking up to meet mines. In that moment, I wanted to take it back, all of it, to give us another chance. But I got a glimpse of my own reflection in the window, and I knew I needed to put an end to it, no matter how wrong it felt when I looked at her.

"I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore" I let out barely above a whisper. She didn't say anything, didn't try to fight the inevitable. She simply put her heels back on, grabbed her purse and left. When she slammed the door shut, I felt the warmth of Loki's fur against my leg. I looked down and met his sad puppy eyes, he tilted his head to the side as I spoke, "It's just you and me again, buddy."

After a sleepless night, I spent most of my morning gathering her stuff into a large box. It only took me so long because I would stop and burst into tears every time I picked something up. But deep down I knew they weren't just tears of sadness; they were tears of relief. I wasn't fully okay with what was happening, part of me didn't want to say goodbye, but I knew that sometimes making the right choice doesn't always feel right. Once the box was full and there wasn't any of her belongings left in my apartment, my eyes fell on my hand. I reluctantly removed the ring, acknowledging the fact that it was over, and placed it in an envelope that I carefully put in the box that I closed. I went to take a shower and get ready before heading to her place and dropping it off.

The next day, she did the exact same thing with my stuff and just like that it was over. At first, it was tough even though Scarlett was right, I was never alone. But grieving a relationship once is hard enough, especially when you're young and naïve, it gets even harder the second time when you're a bit older and more realistic about what life has in store for you. I think deep down I was still in love with the teenager I fell for years ago, and she was too. We didn't really get to know the more grown-up version of ourselves. I couldn't help but hope that, maybe later on in life when she'd have her issues sorted out, our path would cross again. Because, although it did feel like the end, I had this gut feeling that it wasn't it, it couldn't be it.

"I think you did the right thing" Brie said, taking a sip of her wine. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I really like Lizzie but... I don't, the way she was with you, I'd never seen her treat anyone like this."

"Well, considering her previous relationships maybe she just wasn't ready to work out her issues and be with someone who actually cared for her" Scarlett suggested. While I hadn't been in a lot of serious relationship, Lizzie had her fair share. Except, none of the men she was with ever treaded her fairly.

"Do you think maybe if I had tried harder we-"

"I'm going to stop you right there; her baggage is not yours to carry. You did your best, Y/n. Who knows, maybe someday she'll work it out and you two will find your way to each other again" Brie cut me off, trying to cheer me up a bit. Her words echoed in the back of my mind, making me realize something. The more I thought about, the clearer it became that I couldn't imagine myself with someone who wasn't Lizzie. Ever since our first break up, although I did really love Sarah, I knew I wouldn't spend my life with her because... she wasn't Lizzie.

"What's that thing people say? Third time's a charm?" Scarlett said. Noticing the way, I stayed silent, lost in my thoughts, she added, "Or maybe not. Maybe you'll meet someone new."

"Maybe I won't and I'll just become one of these crazy cat ladies" I sighed. The three of us went silent for a second before we burst into laughter. Eventually, a bit of time went by and I went back to my life, focusing on my projects rather than on the slight ache that lingered in my chest. I'd never been more thankful about my career change than after this breakup. Going back to writing really did get me through a lot, it allowed me to process my emotions differently, to put some distance between me and my own struggles.

After a few months, I finished my very first book. Realistically, I thought it would take me a year, if not more. I guess I must have been inspired by the suffering, loneliness and thousands of coffee I had to serve every day. It was a romance between a detective and the serial killer she's trying to catch, except when they were together they didn't know right away who the other was. The most important part of the plot, for the reader, was trying to guess whether or not the detective was willing to jeopardize her job and put aside all her beliefs for the woman she loved. I couldn't really remember how the idea came to me, but I always had this frustration growing up because there wasn't any same sex relationship in the crime shows I used to watch, or books I used to read.

My first book did well considering the fact that I was starting from nothing. It took me six books, not including the sequel to the first one, to get approached by a producer. He wanted to turn my seventh book into a one season TV show, each episode being centred on a different character. I thought it fitted the story perfectly, so after a few meetings to discuss the specifics, I agreed and we signed a contract. For the very first time, I felt like I was where I wanted to be. And, when I put ink on those papers that would be the start of a brand-new chapter of my life, I wasn't thinking about her.

Author's note - Do not worry, this is NOT the end of the story. Like Scarlett said, third time's a charm...