IT STARTED WITH A WHISPER, Elizabeth Olsen

Hangover

"So, what's the thing between you and Lizzie?" she broke the heavy silence that had settle in the vehicle.

"We, uh... we were together in high school" I responded evasively, avoiding her gaze. I knew it was silly because she would never judge me, but for some reason I really couldn't look at her. Perhaps, I was scared that she'd be disappointed in me for not mentioning it sooner.

"Together like classmates? Or together together?"

"Together. We dated for a while but... she wasn't out, she wanted to keep it a secret. I didn't mind at first, I really didn't, but then... Then, I fell head-over-heels in love with her and it made things... complicated. I didn't want her to feel pressured to come out. So, when I saw the look of fear in her eyes after I told her I loved her, I... I couldn't tell if she just wasn't ready to hear it or if she didn't feel the same way. Anyway, she... she did some pretty fucked up stuff after that and we broke up, end of the story" I shortened the ending, not willing to dive back into those memories. Brie nodded softly, processing the information.

"Is it hard for you to see her again?" she asked sounding a bit concerned about the whole situation.

"You'd think after all those years it gets easier, but... Yeah, it's fucking hard. It's hard because deep down I know she never felt the same way and it took me so long to accept it and move on. She was my first love and I think that, in a certain way, I'll always feel something for her" I admitted, shooting the blonde a weak smile.

"I'm sorry, that sucks" Brie stated. "You know... you're only assuming she never truly loved you back but maybe she just wasn't ready and didn't know how to handle it. I mean, if she handles love as good as she handles alcohol..." Brie joked to lighten the mood. I couldn't tell if the joke was actually funny or if it was the alcohol in our system, but we laughed for several minutes to the point where we almost cried.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow at work, right?" the blonde asked as I opened the car's door and stepped out.

"I guess you will. Text me when you're home, okay?" I demanded, earning a nod. I stood there and watched her drive away before unlocking my front door and stepping back into the comfort of my house. My black labrador, Loki, almost made me fall to the ground as he showered me with kisses. I'd named him after Tom's character because Tom was the one who convinced Brie to get me a puppy for my birthday a few years back.

"I was only gone a few hours, buddy" I said as I petted his head. He really hated staying alone, so he was always really happy when I came home. We both headed upstairs where I grabbed my pyjamas before going to the bathroom. I took off my makeup, took a quick shower and put on my pyjamas. As I completed my night routine, I couldn't stop thinking about Lizzie, the look in her eyes... I couldn't help but wonder if she was okay.

"Maybe I shouldn't care that much..." I sighed to myself as I laid down in bed, Loki quickly jumping to lay by my side. He was all warm and cuddly but it didn't help me sleep any better. The next morning, I tried to look presentable as I headed to the set to meet with the directors. I almost dropped my coffee when I saw Scarlett and Brie. They look so much worse than I did; it made me feel better.

"I didn't know they were shooting horror movies here. You two look dreadful" I chuckled at their hangover faces, earning unamused looks.

"Damn you for looking so fine after a night out. How do you do it?" Brie mumbled with a tired groan.

"It's my super-power, captain" I said as I flexed my muscles, making them both laugh. "Anyway, is Lizzie around?" I asked, looking around the room with a forced unbothered look.

"I guess she's in her trailer, I haven't seen her yet" Scarlett shrugged, unsure. I decided to go check on her after my meeting with the directors which went really smoothly. I signed the documents and headed towards her trailer, hoping she'd be there. I knocked on the door, waiting for a second before it cracked open, revealing the tired green-eyed brunette who shot me a soft smile.

"I have the great pleasure to tell you that you look worse than Brie and Scarlett" I chuckled as I saw just how hangover she looked despite the makeup.

"I'm way too tired to argue with you... I didn't get much sleep last night and- Sorry, you probably don't want to hear about it" she dismissed the topic with a wave of the hand, stopping herself mid-sentence. I gently grabbed her hand and met her beautiful eyes, only to notice tears forming in them although she tried to hide them.

"It's okay, you know you can talk to me..." I said reassuringly as I squeezed on her hand.

"No, I know. You just- you don't need to know about this. I'm fine" she sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince me. She pulled her hand away and walked out of the trailer before I got the chance to say anything else.

I stood there for a good minute with a crazy amount of thoughts running through my mind, making my brain spin painfully fast. Lizzie always acted like this when something was causing her great pain, although she wouldn't admit it. She'd lock herself away from the rest of the world and push people away until there was no one else. I had seen it before. I had experienced it before. I knew her.

The rest of the day was just as interesting as you'd expect a workday to be. I helped where I could, watched the others shoot a few of their scenes before I eventually went home. I couldn't sit still, so I took Loki on one of our favourite walks, to the beach. There, I sat on the sand which was still warm as the sun wasn't down yet. I watched the waves for a moment, allowing my brain to stop spinning for a minute. Then, Loki jumped right into the water with a proud look on his face. I laughed as he ran back towards me with what appeared to be a large smile.

In that moment, I felt peace deep in my bones. Loki rested his head on my lap and fell asleep. I looked down at him, overwhelmed by his cuteness, and realised just how much I loved him. When the sun started going down, we walked back home where I gave him a quick bath before feeding him. I made myself some dinner and went to bed although my night was interrupted a few hours later when someone aggressively knocked on my door, jolting me awake.

(Originally published on Sun. Sep. 19, 2021, rewritten on Tue. Feb. 11, 2025).