the devils love

Chapter nine

Ace:

I don't know when it happened, but all the guys ended up surrounding me from a safe distance. I can feel their eyes burning into the back of my skull. Eight men. All behind me, waiting.

To see what I can do. To see why I, of all people, am allowed to stay. To stay in this house, and most importantly- allowed to stay alive. I do be seeing how some of them want me dead. Including my besties. We'll need to have a talk about that later.

I take a moment to prepare myself. It's been a while since I've fought in front of anyone. And yeah, I know, it's just hitting a bag in front of a bunch of dudes. To me, it isn't just that. It's about prooving to them, I'm not just a small girl that needs to be protected. I'm not just some nuisance in the way of them and their boss. They don't need to protect me for him. No one needs to protect me.

Lol love the flair for the dramatics right now. Yes, I said lol go away.

I didn't even bother getting the gloves this time, they just get in the way.

Yes they get in the way. Takes away the joy. The best part, the blood, the pain, the aftermath. God what in the vampire diaries is this, psycho much.

So instead of tightening the straps of my gloves like I normally do, I fix the white straps I had to put on to protect my knuckles from any more damage. I get into position. And I block them out of my view. And out of my mind. It's just you and the bag. Like last time. Just you and your best friend (the bag is my best friend. No one else.)

Just breath. And relax.

After my little moment of panicking, I finally feel myself. My fists meet the bag in a rhythmic pace.

This right here, boxing, fighting, this is my music. This is my song. I drown out the world. And this sounds really dramatic, but I finally feel at peace. Even though there are eyes watching, eyes of those I don't trust, anywhere I can do this, feel free, feel alive, I'm at my happiest.

Now boxing isn't a peaceful sport. At least it isn't supposed to be.

But letting all of your built up rage, built up pain, built up anger, just take control of you for a second, then you feel it drift away. As if it was never there to begin with.

Now I'm making this sound like some sort of ballet, the peace, the freedom, the calm, but I promise, it's so much better. Letting go. Not knowing what will happen, and still knowing no one will get hurt. That's all the control I need. All the practice, all the hard work, all the blood, all the sweat that went into this, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I just wish I know why I got so good. And how I did in the first place.

I start to feel tired and slowly stop, throwing lighter punches and going slower. I don't know if the guys are still watching me. I can still feel eyes on me.

I still really want to kick some tall man's butt but I don't know if Matteo will let me.

Unless I bring up his panties and tell him to put his big boy pants on, then I might be able to fight him. I can find out what the second in command can really do.

When I turn around, I see that Grey has also joined the crowd. I unstrap the wraps on the hands and everyone slowly fades away without saying anything so they can carry on with their workout, leaving me and Grey.

I don't know when he came in but just knowing he watched me makes me feel weird. Not necessarily a bad weird, just an odd feeling. Like, I know every other man in here watched, Grey is different from them. I don't have to prove myself to him. He knows what I can do.

I think we just stare at each other for a while. I stare more at the floor than him, just because you know, eye contact is icky. Slowly dying. Curling in on myself.

Fucking Grey and his staring making me feel weirder than normal. He always finds a way to make me feel safe yet uncomfortable around him. I mean I'm uncomfortable around everyone, so that isn't much of an accomplishment. Making me feel safe, well that's different. I might not even feel safe. It could just be my brain tricking me into believing that this is how someone feels when they're safe. Now you're overthinking. Stop it.

I slowly make my way towards him and give him my little awkward self aware smile that I do when I have no idea what to say. "After you've finished in here, i need you to come into my office so we can discuss something. Is that okay, amore?"

I know when he asked me if it was okay with me he wasn't actually asking but it made me feel good that he did actually ask. I just smile up at him and say alright. His voice caught me off guard again and made my tummy do that weird flip thing you get on rollercoasters. I wanna go to a fair!! I love the rollercoasters! I haven't been in ages.

"How long have you been watching?" I question just so I can hear his voice again. Obviously I would like to know, but damnnn his voice.

"Long enough to see half of them with their jaws on the floor. They don't really see many capable females in the mafia business up close." He says side eyeing their way, telling me they're watching. I step over a little to block their view of nothing in particulate. My way of warning them we know they're trying to figure out what we're talking about.

"Ah, okay then." I nod with a smile trying not to sound as awkward as I am. "I'll just finish up here and come find you. Should I get changed first or is it only a quick thing?" paranoia and overthinking, thank you a lot.

"It's only a small thing, no need." after that he walks back out of the gym. What an ass am I right? Mental picture *click*.

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Authors note-

So i have not been updating regularly like i wanted. Extremely sorry for this. School has started again which is scary. Tests and homework and all that jazz. I am not going to be one of those authors who say they'll update on a certain day and then never do. I will try my absolute hardest to update as much as i can. I can't wait to see your reactions to one of the chapters i have planned!! i think you will love it. Also side note- should i make atlas and nail varnish guy a thing? Because i was planning to and i saw a comment about it and got excited :) I might try and write the next few chapters before i update so i dont have to stress but idk how to do this. Thankyou all for the patience and sorry for the last two kind of boring chapters. I havent been feeling that great lately so the content stuff is kinda matching my mood :/ love you all see you next chapter!!