the devils love

Chapter eight

Ace:

Today is the day. I get to kick some grown mans ass. Or men. I don't know how many will be willing to fight my female self. I hope all of them but like if their mama taught them right they can't hit no woman. I still want to fight them though.

Boss man has been sleeping in the bed every night now. We've gotten the whole awkward thing out the way I think. The first night he fell asleep before I could ask him what the hell he was doing. But the second night we just started talking. And I'm shocked that a mafia boss can actually be nice towards someone. Like I'm not excusing the whole "I kill whoever I want if they look at me the wrong way" or the "I sell drugs and weapons to whoever pays the most and if they don't pay me every one they love will be tortured and die". He is kind-hearted. I think he was just born into the wrong life.

When I woke up this morning Boss Man was about to get up. We started having a conversation about me kicking some ass instead though. I told him how excited I was because I haven't punched someone in the face for such a long time.

I think I've been in the shower for about an hour. It feels like it's only been 10 minutes. I've been daydreaming about everything and nothing for the entirety of it. About the life I had before all this. Not that I can remember much anyways. I mean the last few months leading up to me being taken. The one friend I had left. She was my next-door neighbor. Very talkative and friendly and pretty amazing at socializing with whoever she needed to, everything I'm not basically. She was pretty damn cool, to be honest. I wonder if she's noticed that I'm gone. She might've. I mean we talked every day and walked to work together. But what if she didn't notice. Or if someone told her I left without saying goodbye. I know what that's like and I don't want her to feel as though I've abandoned her without reason.

I should probably get out of the shower now. It's gonna seem like I died in here. That would be a good way to die though. I mean very peaceful. Nevermind.

I wrap my hair in a towel and slip back into my pajamas so I can take a quick breath on the balcony. I haven't been out there since the first night. What a lovely panic attack I had that day. Let all the screams out. I just stand here for a little while, staring at the view. Also a very relaxing thing to do, by the way. I mean not if you're scared of heights because this would be a terrible place to be if so. I don't know what time I'm supposed to be ready for, no one told me. I don't really have the energy to get dressed just yet. Gotta build up my energy for the gym. It feels strange right now, just being here. Feeling so okay being here. Most people would want to scream and run whilst I'm enjoying the view off of a strange man's balcony. One that could kill me at any given moment.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know what I want anymore. How am I supposed to stay here for as long as he wants when I have a life on the outside? Did I even have a life? I don't even know anymore. I don't know anything. This isn't some fairytale where I fall in love and live happily ever after. That doesn't happen in the real world. I'm tired of living every day on repeat. I need out; of this house, this life, this world, this everything.

But I can't leave Grey. I know I don't know him. I know that I don't know anything about his world. I just can't leave him. He's all I've got. I don't have any family anymore. My only friend probably thinks I've abandoned her. And if I went back, it would take Grey ten minutes to find me. Probably less.

My draining thoughts are interrupted by someone knocking on the door. Matteo's irritated voice sounds through the wood, "I thought you would be ready by now! I've been waiting for ages!"

The way he dragged out the 'a' in ages made me laugh. He sounds like such a toddler. "I'll be out in a second. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"I do not wear panties! Don't talk about my underwear!" Oh god, he really wears panties, doesn't he? I bet the guys love that.

I quickly run into the wardrobe and grab the first pair of leggings I find and the only sports bra in my reach, before Matteo yells anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if Grey had complaints from his neighbors about his screeching. Oh wait, he wouldn't have neighbors, would he? Not for miles at least. I mean unless this entire house is soundproof because those screams I sometimes hear from the basement, are absolutely terrifying. I rush out into the hallway and see Matteo looking at me pointedly with his arms crossed. It's like a dad and a child mixed together and formed one giant baby man who has very strict rules about punctuality. Why does he care so much? The face he's pulling makes it really hard to take his scolding seriously. He talks to me about the importance of punctuality and schedules as we walk to the gym.

When we reach the gym I realize why we should be early. Not because of anything Matteo said, just because now the guys have all the good stuff. Two of them are on the treadmill, one of them is using the punching bag, ugh my poor baby has to get hit by an ammeter, two of them are sparring and the other two were watching, seemingly enjoying what's happening. Matteo joins them after telling me to, and I quote, "go do what you do". I think he's mad I faked on him my first time. Or he's too busy thoroughly enjoying whatever is going down on the mats. It's Atlas and nail varnish guy sparring. Blonde guy and Axel are the two watching. The rest I don't pay attention to. Of course, I cheer for Atlas. He's the one who introduced himself to me after all, and because he's cool, but I shouldn't be biased, I just don't know the other guy's name.

Atlas has speed on his side. I mean, nail varnish guy is fast, just not fast enough to beat Atlas. Nail varnish guy looks more tough, like he does more weights. But when it comes to a fair fight, it doesn't matter about the weights you can lift, it matters on who can throw the best punch, and who can dodge the most. Atlas has the second one in the bag. I just haven't been around long enough to observe who the clear winner is.

Give me five minutes and I'll know for sure. I got banned from a lot of underground fighting places because they all thought I somehow rigged the fight after being able to bet on the right person all the time.

I always blamed it on luck but I know it isn't luck. You just need to know how to observe the fighters. Like you have to learn to observe your opponent. After a while you get the hang of it, knowing their next moves. Only by taking a few hits.

Obviously, it depends on who you're fighting, for some it only takes them a few hits to win, and I learned that the hard way. I believed that nail varnish guy was going to kick some butt, I think he's holding back, and even if he showed his true potential, Atlas would still beat him due to his size and speed. Against anyone else, nail varnish guy would be amazing, he just doesn't want to hurt Atlas.

They stop sparring after around 10 more minutes, clearly tired after their long workout and even longer sparring. Matteo and I go over to the punching bag when the other person stops and goes to the mats. Matteo told me he wanted to see what I could actually do without being told and with other people watching.

I realize that I'll probably need another bag again, just a backup in case this one gets shot as well. That's what I told Matteo anyways, don't meed him to know that I'll probably knock it off like I do every single time. I just get lost in the red as I call it. I just fall into a trance of punching, and screaming in my head about all the things I want to remember, the little I do remember, and why my brain seems to think I can't handle my past. I've already gone through it once, this time I just want to know what happened to me without going completely numb and waking up one day realizing I've forgotten everything important to me.