● Quote 1
Duck: *singing to Selly* I can show you the world~
Duck: *checks his phone*
Phone: You have £2.03
Duck: *takes Selly outside, still singing* I can show you my driveway~
Selly: *crying from laughter*
● Quote 2
Kay, just regaining consciousness in a hospital bed: What just-
Alf: You passed out from a fever, sweetheart. Do you remember anything?
Kay: Kind of. I remember the ambulance ride
Alf: That wasn't an ambulance ride, I drove you here
Kay: But I heard sirens
Alf: That was Duck
Kay: ...
Duck, breathing into a paper bag: I will not apologise for caring about my best friend!
● Quote 3
Maxie: Maxie just ran over a child!
Genie: E-EXCUSE ME?!
Maxie: And instead of arresting me...
Genie: ???
Maxie: The police apologised!
Maxie: Maxie doesn't follow the law!
Genie: You need to follow it...
Maxie: THE LAW FOLLOWS MAXIE!!
Genie: MAXIE, NO!
● Quote 4
Victor: I wasn't that drunk!
Alf: You threw mushrooms at Kay, Duck and Maxie...
Genie: And then you shouted: 'Grow Mario 1, 2 and 3, grow!'
Selly: And then you started shouting at them because they didn't grow, and now they're crying in the next room because of you
● Quote 5
(Group chat with Kay, Alf and Duck)
Kay: Lol, just a heads up guys
Alf: This isn't gonna be good...
Kay: If you try to make a candle with food colouring, the food colouring will sink to the bottom of the glass
Duck: Why were you trying to make a candle?
Kay: And when the flame eventually reaches the bottom, all the food colouring will catch fire and will become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack
Duck: Kay? Why do you know this?
Alf: I am also curious
Kay: Then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic, then the extremely hot food colouring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter
Kay: Please take my word on this, lmfao
Alf: Kay, what did you do?
Kay: A MISTAKE!😭
Duck: Why wasn't I invited to make candles though?
● Quote 6
Alf: Top 30 reasons why Alf is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!
Kay: Top 30 anime deaths. Number 1: YOU'RE FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!
Selly, in the background: DO IT!
● Quote 7
Maxie: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Genie: Maxie, please go to sleep, it's 2am
Maxie: What gif Maxie doesn't want to?
Genie: *sighs* I hate you
● Quote 8
Selly: Please, I'm begging you, go to a doctor
Duck: I'm sorry, is this our stab wound? Stay the fuck out of it
● Quote 9
Dos: I am not out of control! I am a law abiding citizen!
Mos: Really? Name one law
Dos: Don't kill people?
Mos: That's on me. I set the bar too low
● Quote 10
Maxie: How does Maxie unbake a cake?
Genie: You can't. Once the ingredients are mixed up and baked, it's permanent.
Kay: Maxie, listen carefully: you need to put it back in the oven, set it to the negative of whatever temp you baked it at, such as -160°, and leave it in for the exact amount of time you baked it for. It has to be exact! If you unbake it too much the flour may turn into wheat and the eggs may turn into chickens! Don't ask me how
Genie: Kay, I'm telling Alf to make sure you don't get any more sweets tonight
Kay: Then you don't get Maxie for tonight
Genie: I'M SORRY!
● Quote 11
Alf: I have 206 bones in my body
Kay: I hope you do, I don't wanna take you to the hospital and then explain that you're missing a bone
Alf: But... when I look at you, I have 207
Kay, blushing: O-oh!
Selly: Alf, just admit you wanna fuck him!
● Quote 12
Duck: Why are you on the floor?
Kay: I'm depressed
Kay: Also I was stabbed, can you get Alf please?
● Quote 13
Duck: Alf, can I get some dating advice?
Alf: Duck, we've been through this, just because I'm with Kay, doesn't mean I know how I did it
● Quote 14
Selly: Why are your tongues purple?
Alf: We had slushies. I had a blue one
Kay: And I had a red one
Selly: Oh
Genie and Selly: ...
Genie and Selly, looking at each other: OH!
Maxie and Duck: ...
Duck: You drank each others slushies?
Maxie: You guys got slushies?! Why didn't Maxie get one?!
● Quote 15
Kay: There is no future. There is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole thing is visible in every facet
Alf: ...
Selly: ...
Genie: ...
Maxie: ...
Duck: ...
Everyone else who came to Kay's surprise birthday party: ...
Gary: All I asked you was if you wanted to be the one to cut your cake or are you wanted someone else to do it
Kay: ...You can cut it
YOU ARE READING
Random RT Stories
RandomTitle kinda says it all. All sorts of stories will be in this such as abuse, smut (maybe), fluff etc, AUs and everything else.
