Grace (BWWM)

Chapter Six

Months go by and fall rolls into the crisp Minnesotan winter as we go from the year 2010 to 2011, making it two years since Sherry has passed. Although it's been a couple years, it feels as if no time has passed at all. The pain is still there. Grace and I have talked about grieving and on one hand, it's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this as she still grieves Lance. But on the other hand, I wonder if time truly heals such a pain.

I'm thankful at least that I can be involved in the life of her and her children, it's enjoyable and gives me something to do. I head over to Grace's place at times during the winter months to help her shovel her driveway when the snow comes down. Sometimes Ty joins me and we talk.

Sometimes Nova comes out to help or just cheer us on. The girl has always been an oddball, but she's endearing, with her odd behavior and wide smiles. Her brother is more calm and collected, and he's always been like that even from a young age, putting himself in charge of his sister and her antics. The two get along wonderfully, and they've got a dynamic that just makes you smile.

I visit their place often, finding it more of a home than mine. Grace doesn't mind at all and even welcomes me. It's also a win for her because it allows her to pick up more hours at her job as a nurse anesthetist while I spend time with the kids, checking in on them. As time goes on, we develop a sort of routine, and I've grown to like it.

Sometimes I take Ty to basketball practice at the community center and Nova for ice-skating. She wants to be a professional ice-skater currently. I say currently because the last thing she wanted to be was an astronaut, and before that, a world-renowned chef, which came after her wanting to be a famous tennis player. Ice-skating isn't going that great, so we'll see what comes next.

I've been sleeping and eating better. Sometimes Grace and I go grocery shopping and catch up on life. Other times, I accompany her and her family to church, and she invites me to other places, too, like her family's annual summer barbecue. She's told me numerous times that I don't need to help out like I do-like I want to do-but I always brush it off. I have an empty house without any children. If I stayed there, I might drive myself up a wall with how anything and everything reminds me of Sherry, sending my thoughts into a dark place.

Winter rolls into spring, which starts off chilly but turns warm enough after a matter of weeks to wear very light sweaters, or just long-sleeve shirts. Work has been getting better, in a sense, as I'm pushing myself to be more involved, which also makes my coworkers happy to see.

I'm going on my regular jogs much less often, as the amount of jogging I was doing wasn't healthy, especially when I was eating so little and working out at the gym as well. I'm still working out, but I've gained more weight with my healthier habits. It's not fat like before, but muscle. I'm not accustomed to this, and I sometimes catch ladies my age giving me lingering looks that I don't know what to do with. I've expressed that to Gracie, and she's just laughed it off. She said I'm a silver fox, and I don't exactly know what that means, but I'm assuming it's good. Speaking of silver, I've decided to keep a trimmed beard, even with the speckles of gray and white that show in it. My age is showing, but I don't mind that anymore.

Grace works a little less now, wanting to spend more time with the kids before they grow up. I support that and let her know that I'm still here to help if she finds she needs anything. She thanks me but gently refuses. Even though she's working less, I still come over all the same, wanting to help.

One spring day, Grace is off work and has taken the twins to the carnival that comes to town once every year. When there's a lull at work I wonder how the carnival is and if they're all having fun. I know Nova will want to try all the foods and Ty will remind her that's not possible. I smile to myself at these thoughts, knowing that it will also bring a smile to Gracie's face. At one point, I realize how close I'm getting to them and how they've managed to burrow their way into my heart.